Now I'm alone and abandoned- lost my relationship and it feels like I'm losing my mother al over again. I need support

I'm new to this group site. I feel very alone. Ive been having a very tough time with the man I was seeing, enduring some emotional/verbal abuse and now he's ended it with me! which is devastating, after I worked so hard and stayed with him to work things through when he behaved terribly. He was my only true support when my mother died last yr and now it feels like I'm losing her all over again:it feels exactly the same. It feels like I'm losing her, along with the main source of emotional support I had with it and like I'm losing him too. It's overwhelming and I cant stop crying. I dont really have any friends here I can talk with. The best I can do is reach out to acquaintances and people I havent talked to in a long while, but I dont want to wear them out and drain them. I really need some empathy and some gentle support, b/c Im having trouble processing everything, as I'm also going through a severe 'spiritual emergency' and have been since '08. it makes everything much harder to process and deal with.
Maybe there are some people out there who can relate and who want to talk.

I can relate. I dumped my boyfriend after he started becoming emotionally abusive and being unsupportive. I took him back after he promised we would fix things and after I told him if it keeps happening I will leave him...forever. I don't really see how keeping a good relationship is possible in my life with all of the anxiety, stress, urges I have right now.but he is the one i trust and the one that was supportive to a point. I haven't lost my mom. But I can't imagine why you're going through. I'm here for you :)

I feel very upset with myself b/c I gave him the warnings. I said if you yell at me like that again you are giong to lose me as a potential gf and as a friend forever. and then he did and I let him pass that boundary 3 times. Now he wants to be friends, after dumping me out of the blue midway thru a conversation. He did a Dr. Jekyll/Mr Hyde thing. everythign was fine, then I asked to clarify something that I thought I perhaps hadnt said clearly a few days bf, he said yes. I did and then soon after he said, as casually as he was asking me to pick up a bag of chips at the store, ’ we should talk sometime, I think I need a break.’ no tears, no anger (which is shocking, since he likes to yell). just im done and thanks for playing and lets be friends. I feel insulted- I mean if it’s no big deal to break up with me, then how could it have been a big deal to date me in the first place. he says it was real for him, but it feels like he’s disrespecting the relationship- which for me was my new first love. it was a really big deal!

I’m upset that I stayed with him through all of hims bad behavior and that he would leave me over something caring and loving to help us better understand each other. i feel like I lost my dignity by not ending it with him. And now I’m not sure how to get it back, short of tellnig him that I cant be friends with him anymore b/c he violated my boundary 3 times. Im in a tough place b/c I still need a bit of his support to get thru the SE(spiritual emergency) and over this 2nd harsh wave of grieving my moother who recently passed. Im beside myself. I wish I had just left after the hurricane when he yelled and was banging plates at me. then could have retained my dignity and he wouldve at least gottne the point a little bit that his behavior is unacceptable. but now, he’s ended it with me and it feels like he’s sitting pretty thinking he was so right and that I did something so wrong.

I mean how freaking hard is it to say, 'sure sweetie, you prefer a ‘good morning’ to a ‘gm!’ okay, no problem. but no instead he bickers and gives me crap like 'it takes too long, and ‘but why, it means the same thing’ and on and on. And how hard is it to just give the woman you’re seeing 1 min of in-bed affection - or even 15seconds of a hug or spoon or kiss a a kiss on the neck. no, instead it’s all ‘you dont care about my work, you’re goig to ruin my morning routine, it’s just all about you.’ Me asking and pleading for 1 min of in bed morning affection, or a 15 sec spoon is why he was screaming, yelling throwing food, banging plates and blaming me for it. it makes me feel like crap.

you were so courageous and brave to dump him. I wish I hadnt been so starved for his emotional support. then maybe I couldve found my power too and called him out on his stuff and made him think. now he’s already rewriting history and seems to think he did nothing wrong. I dont really know what to do.

im here too..I know what it feels like to have someone u loved and worked thru some very hard things with to just decide they dont want you anymore..its a gut punch you cant like to talk message me if ya wanna chat..

I do feel like Ive been punched and lashed down. Im very anxious, I cant relax, I cant really sleep, I cant eat much, cant watch tv or read (it all is too overwhelming for me) I’m unable to do anything and since I’m already near bedridden from serious injury, etc there arent many options for me to distract myself. I keep checking my phone to see if he’s written b/c he started sending sweet texts a few days ago- istarted getting used to checking my phone again and then poof they disappear.
I’m not sure know how to chat yet on here. Im having some trouble navigating the site. if you can give any pointers Id appreciate it. Thank you for the support and empathy.

no problem....its all good I understand that..everything change for me when I tore my spine and couldnt move very marriage started falling i know what u mean..u can click on a persons name in blue and it takes u to their pag and u can send this user a see your messages on the right click my messages :)

there are good people on can find some very good advice here..and at least people who know how u glad your here...

Hi sweetie. Please educate yourself. Please read, THE VERBALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, by Patricia Evans. She is an excellent author and this will answer ALL YOUR QUESTIONS. Anything by this author is a sure thing. I am reading Controlling People which is her's too.

I do understand and am so sorry for what you are going through. You are right about all you have said. Sweetie... It is called "CRAZY MAKING." It is called that for a reason. This is not good for you. Also a film, Gaslight, can be viewed free online and and is probably available at the library. It is an older classic film that is sadly quite current in content. You are welcome to message me. I will send one to you just to say hi, so you can learn how to use this feature. bye

There are 7.2 billion people in this world. He's not the only man. Let him go. You'll find yourself a better man. Someone who'll appreciate and treat you right. There is no excuse for any form of abuse in any relationship. You're a beautiful person. Don’t bargain-basement yourself!

I like your words kleimo! We are in total Agreement. There is no degree of abuse that is acceptable... It all is intended to reduce and lessen you no matter the form. Sure does hurt. bye