OA Meeting

Finally decided to put actions to my words!

I'm not going to let my ED controll my life anymore.

Going to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting tonight and I'm scared of being judged.

I know they are all there for the same reason, but I'm still nervous!

Wish me luck!

that is great beautiful!

im behind you 100%

love

maureen

Good luck beautiful!

90 mins until meeting time. A bit nervous. The woman who runs the group said it may not be for me, but that I should attend a handful of meetings first before I decide.

I told my boyfriend. He doesn't think it's what I need, but is supporting my decision to go.

I also told my 2 co-workers who are also my friends. Both said it was good for me to be seeking help, but again, one told me I don't need to go b/c I hardly eat.

I explained that I eat when I am alone, bored and sometimes when I feel panicky. When I am upset, I don't eat at all and my family gets on me about that.

Today I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and a potato for dinner.

I figure it is close to my home, doesn't cost much and I can probably get something out of the meeting to help me stop associating food with my emtional state. IDK.

But thank you all for the encouragement. It is appreciated.

I will update on how it went, but probably not until Wednesday. I have to work out of town tomorrow and it is going to be a very long day, so I may not be on tomorrow.

Hopefully you will take something positive out of the meeting :)

Ok friends. I did it. I made the committment and went to my first OA meeting!

Oh I was so nervous! My blood pressure was through the roof my heart was racing! I was sweating and all!

I almost decided not to go. The fear of what they would think of me and my body - I was the heaviest person there - something I noticed as soon as I walked into the room - late of course to boot!

I decided to introduce myself towards the end of the meeting and tell everyone why I was there.

I got out my first name and started to cry. It was the shame of knowing I have an addiction problem and the brutal truth to finally face it head on and stop making excuses for my weakness.

My voice waivered through the rest of my introduction and story, but I walked out of there, adrenaline running high and a bit emotionally and physically tired, but knowing this first step is necessary for my recovery.

For me, just going was a huge victory! ED has taken control of my life for so many years, and I want it back.

I have one thing to say to ED.....

*****, you have just met your match!

I admire you :)

Thanks, but don’t.

The first thing I thought this morning was “Wah, this is gonna be hard!”

Then I told myself to shut the hell up.

Oh yeah, I was arguing with myself this morning! Not out loud of course! LOL!

I have the healthy me that wants to be better and the ED me that wants to be fat and lazy.

The ED me and the healthy me are about to go 12 rounds!!!

this is awesome, beautiful! really so proud of you!!!! just one think--beautiful before i whip you with a wet noodle again, ha--ummmmm did you just say you had a bowl of cereal and potatoe for dinner???????? BEAUTIFUL THAT IS ANOTHER FORM OF AN ED--CALLED ANOREXIA/STARVATION! trust me beautiful you dont want that tortorous , hideous , miserable illness----and most importantly it is FATAL. yeah i almost died, from it, but im here now--only with health complications from it...

please please dont go from on ED to the next... it is horrible either way. remeber ---we have EDs casue we have not normal relationship with food... please dont ---restrict. you will damage your metabolism (like i did)...

thinking of you --but sooooo proud of you!

love
maureen!

Please…if you knew how much I weighed…ugh.
And I wasn’t restricting, I wasn’t hungry.
I just had some yogurt and coffee for breakfast.
Banana lined up for lunch.
I’m good!

It’s how I always eat, except when I’m at home alone at night.

like i said--im gonna now whip you with a wet noodle! you do not have to be THIN to have the other version of ED! yes beautiful, what you are describing is totally ana--or starvation and no--it doesnt matter how much you weight---you can still have it at any any weight.

im seriously now gonna get that wet noodle out!

wasnt hungry??hmmmm sounds like a red flag to me..

beautiful if you dont eat enough do you know what will happen to your metaboilsm? you will damage it (like i did) or get thyroid disease along with a ton of other diseases...
you have to go about this the right way--eat healthy and enogh calories for YOU..and not restrict--alright???

you wont help your body at all by restricting you will just kill your metabolism and that takes a while to get back.. trust me... this aint gonna help at all, beautiful

and no you werent good by eating what you ate----that sounds like me a year ago( and no that was not good!) now, gotta find that wet noodle....LOL...

eat what is good for you and enough --enough so your body can FUNCTION! and live

love
maureen

whats ana?

i do. i'm not always hungry though.
trust me when i'm hungry i will eat.
sometimes i will eat when i'm not hungry at all my emotional eating.

all i know is no matter what i eat, good, bad once a day or 100 times a day, excercise or not, i've always been overweight. i know i will never be skinny - i'm not genetically inclined to be. and thats okay, i just know i'm really heavy now and i feel it.

btw, fat free greek yogurt, grapenuts and honey and/or fruit - is to die for!

Ana = anoreixa

beautiful--im not talking about the way you look but WHAT you are describing in BEHAVIORS..thats all ...

just eat well for yourself and treat yourself right...thanks all....

youre doing good! you are----just making sure you are ok..

ha

love
maureen

well anorexics are skinny arent they?
am i wrong?

I have anorexic traits in my ED and I am certainly not classified as skinny. ED's dont discriminate.