Obsess about worry 247

Hello- I am 27 years old and for the past about 5 years I have had OCD that is out of control. I worry all the time. If I am not worried I feel like something is wrong. If I am not worried about something then I feel like something bad is going to happen. but then when I worry it makes me sick and I worry about what is going to happen when it does happen. I hope that makes sense. I feel crazy at times. Like if I see someone on tv who has cancer or HIV or something I start thinking that I have it... "oh my gosh what if I have it? I better go get tested" And that is just from reading it or seeing it on tv. I am constantly worried that because of my birth cirtificate and ID getting lost/stollen about 7 years ago that someone went and used it to commit a crime and now I am going to get in trouble for it and be wrongly accused. A few months ago I got my blood drawn at the dr office (making sure for about the 20th time I didn't have HIV) and they lost it, mismarked it. I freaked out thinking that someone stole my blood and was going to spread it at some murder scean. I know it sounds crazy but this is just what is in my brain ALL the time.
I went to a therapist for a few sessions but she told me there was nothing I could do for it besides "just stop"... well trust me if I could just stop I would.
I am so sick of worrying!!! Why can't I just live and be happy and realize none of these things are likely to happen?
No one understands me. No one! My family also tells me to just think about something else.
Anyone have any tips?
Thanks for letting me vent :)

I just wanted to say that I can really relate to you and that I know how excruciatingly painful it feels to be unable to stop worrying all the time. All I can really say is to try to approach it in a humourous way, like Oh there goes my obsessive worrying again and it is telling me crazy things- also remind yourself that right this second you are okay and that besides the fact that whatever you are worrying about is unlikely to happen, even if it did you are strong and capable of handling it. Hang in there!

Hey there, I know exactly what you are going through as I used to suffer from OCD. There is a solution to your anxiety issues, but to solve it you have to be really willing to do some inner work. To face the anxiety without trying to escape it at all. The real problem is you're not in the present moment. Your body is, however, your mind and thoughts are not. They are lost in some fantasy, or worrying about something that doesn't exist. Show me the past and show me the future? They don't really exist. The only thing that matters is the present moment. There is nothing outside of it. All those fears are just you being totally identifed with your thoughts. I recommend the book called The Power of Now. It has the ability to change your life, it did mine.

The secret of health for both body and mind is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future or anticpate troubles, but to live in the present moment, wisely and earnestly. - The Buddha

I'm also a worrier...a big time worrier. Sometimes obsessing over the most inane details of my life and how i'm going to be impacted by it if I don't take action. It's a struggle throughout the week but not daily, more often than not i can settle the churn in my mind when i'm in "worrying mode".

For the *small* worries, I usually just allow myself to satisfy the questions or needs of the moment (e.g., "did i put my credit card back in my wallet at the last store, and while i'm thinking of it did my drivers license remain in the wallet or could it have fallen out while touching the credit card?"). In that case i'll allow myself to double or triple or quadruple check my wallet, it just takes a few seconds.

In a way, I sort of took on a profession that allows me to channel the worrying elsewhere in a more productive manner than allowing the worrier part of me to focus too much on my personal life. I manage a group of software testers for a software manufacturer; the best testers in my opinion are also the best worriers (like you and me!). They'll worry that the software developer is breaking a key function with their latest code changes, worry that we don't have enough customer data to properly test all the user scenarios, worry about how the software will behave on certain hardware platforms, etc...

So my basic advice is to reflect on whether there are other, more positive, ways of channeling your worries. Lets face it, you'll always be worried about *something* in your personal life, but finding a way to channel the worries *elsewhere* may help you reduce its impact on *you*, giving you more peace in your life.

Good luck.

I do not have OCD, but my Fiancee does and he has the fear of hurting people. Like there feelings and such. He is always repeating himself to make sure things are right in the relationship. He is always saying he's sorry when I am the one to be sorry. He gives himself a hard time when he thinks somethings not going right. We very rarely argue at all except when we are really tired. I am hoping to understand his condition more through others.

I know exactly how you feel. I am going through the same thing right now. I saw someone on tv that had HIV and had to go get tested even though there was really no reason for me to worry.

Now, the other day a co-worker cut herself in the morning and brought in a bag of food and put it in the fridge. I touched it and then panicked!! It has been 2 days and I am still worrying and everyone is telling me to not worry about it and everything will be fine and that if it happened to them they would be fine with just washing their hands and putting it behind them. In the back of my mind I am debating on whether or not to go to the doctor, but I am trying to overcome that "NEED" to go to the doctor because I don't want to have to go after every thought. I really dont think there is a need for me to go get tested because when I asked her if she cut her finger she said yes. I would assume that she would have indicated in some way if I should be worried about it.

To worrymama and tmperrel....I cannot express to you how grateful I am to come across this thread. I am 30 years old and my OCD symptoms started when I was about 19. I was away at college, having fun and experiencing my freedom. All of a sudden, one day in my biology lab while discussing various STD's (including HIV) I had this overwhelming sense of dread that I could have possibly contracted something from guys I had been with, whether it be having protected sex or as simple as a kiss.

I got tested immediately and even though the results were negative, the feeling of dread lingered. For the next 4 years I continually obsessed over it and retested myself for HIV, regardless of the results. Each time I would go for a test I would literally become physically ill due to the worrying and stress. I couldn't sleep, eat, or function. I was terrified of contracting HIV and even more terrified of having sex, which ruined every relationship I attempted to have.

Eventually, the fear of contracting HIV dissipated, which made it easier to ignore my OCD issues for a period of time. However, I was left with a fear of intimacy that is still very prevalent, and my obsessions and worries simply transferred over to other areas in my life. I'll be fine for a while but if anything troublesome or scary happens to me or my loved ones, I completely fall apart. My thoughts will race and I will think of the most horrific, worst case scenarios.

Today, I am realizing that my OCD has transformed into something bigger than I can handle on my own. I am currently going through a trying time with my precious little dog....he is older and is facing potential life threatening problems. I have been so distraught to the point that I can't eat, sleep, work, or do much of anything. Of the 16 hrs a day I'm up, I'm worrying and obsessing for about 15 of them. I can literally cry at the drop of a hat.

The worst thoughts will pop up in my head, seemingly uncontrollably. Sometimes my thoughts are so out of control that I feel like I want to scream and jump out of my skin. I'll start to have these internal dialogues with myself trying to talk myself out of the extreme anxiety, which will last all day. It is absolutely exhausting.....as this post I've been writing probably is now!

Anyways, the point is, we are not alone and talking about these issues and sharing them with others is very therapeutic. So thank you for being open and allowing me to be, as well. I hope my experiences are relatable and please feel free to comment.