Obsession with men is dragging me down i have no dignity pride or respect

Ive been in 2 obsessive relationships. the first one lasted over 5 years. and unfortunately, the man i was seeing knew i was obsessed yet fed off it. told me everyday i was perfect when i wasnt. i would call over 50 times a day, i would not eat, or sleep, or study. Just think of him. then he cheated. when we ended, i still believed we were still together. only when i met my new partner did my obsessive behaviour end. well, i still think of him everyday, and i check his facebook posts regularly. But, i dont fantasise about being with him, nor do i want to. The relationship im in now, is just as obsessive, only this time, its sexual aswell. No matter how much sex we have, i still want more, though i never orgasm from sex, im never staisfied, i feel hes cheating and that he doesnt love me, even wen he tells me everyday. he knows im obsessed, but wants me to get help. One minute, i cant get off him, the next im soo sure hes cheating im struggling not to go and slash his tyres. i believe i will never be good enough, even though im more good looking than him. i believe that maybe if i got drunk, took some pills and cut myself, then i would win his love. ALSO, important part, my man and best friend were seeing each other behind my back for a months. i caught them. she is out of my life. he is not. they both denied any relationship, just that that would see each other and talk behind my back about me. he said it was because he didnt know who to talk to, and she was trying to ruin our relationship, as i supposedly ruined one of hers when we were younger. should i end the relationship now, before i hurt him or myself? or can i fix this. can i stop being obsessed with him and sex...

can i stop being obsessed with him and sex...

Yes you can. Obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior is a treatable emotional disorder. If you haven't done so, then seeing a therapist could probably help. But they are also signs of addiction. For addictions the best help IMHO is a 12 step program. There is a sex addicts anonymous fellowship. They may be able to help.

Hey Madeline,
I think you should really seek some help. Your current boyfriend sounds like a nice guy and is encouraging to seek help to keep your relationship together.
Do not put yourself in harm to win affection, it does not work that way, it only carries worry with it. You need to believe that you are good enough a person to deserve love.

The first thing you need to do is talk to a therapist and get the treatment you need. You can stop this behaviour and have a healthy relationship.

Warmest Regards
Moongal x

Hi Madaline,
I have been the same way you are and I finally started getting help about 7 mths ago. I was diagnosed w/ OCD. I see a psychiatrist for my meds and a therapist for my OCD. I fully understand where you are coming from. I have had it in my head that I am not good enough for anyone and that is the thing that has hurt me most in most aspects of my life. I am working on that now but boy it is not easy. I OBSESS over the so called "bad things" I do (like not putting all the laundry up bc it makes me feel like a bad mother and wife) and never look at the good things I do. And each day, it just brings me down more. Each day I ask myself what I have done and I just keep repeating to myself the good thing(s) I have done for that day. This was my therapist's suggestion. On certain days it has helped and on others it hasn't. But it's a work in progress. I try every day to see the good in me and even write little notes to myself that I put places so I will see them. It has worked for me somewhat. Because of my way of thinking, it's not easy bc I still want to obsess on the bad alot but I also write little notes telling myself not to give up on me and to remind myself that in order to be a better mother and wife, I have to like and love myself. And that gives me the strength to deal with my daily struggles. Maybe you should try this?
And if you don't mind my asking, have you seen a therapist for these behaviors? If you haven't, PLEASE go. I was scared half to death but I am SO GLAD I made that phone call!!!!!
I hope some of this helps you sweet girl!
Jodi