I HAVE DONE ABOUT EVERYTHING I KNOW TO DO ABOUT THESE VIOLENT THOUGHTS THAT TORMENT ME 24 HOURS A DAY. I HAVE CALLED THERAPIST AFTER THERAPIST AND NONE OF THEM TREAT THIS TYPE OF OCD. MANY HAVE NOT HEARD OF IT AND TREAT ME AS I AM PSYCHOTIC. I AM LOST AND DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Please hang in there- is there some sort of hotline you can call? I know it seems like suicide is the only way out but it's NOT. You are not abnormal at all; you just have OCD. I know that you are strong enough to get through this! We are all here for you if you need to talk more.
rooster333 .... you are not alone.
It took me 18 years to find help once I left my childhood home. I had a therapist once tell me that she could not help me because my issues were way too much for her.
I even had a few therapists and two psychiatrists who tried to tell me I was fine and there was nothing wrong with me. They said I was perfectly normal.
Sadly, one day I had enough. I went to the emergency room because I could not handle it anymore. Then, the funniest thing happened. All the professionals started to believe me and I have been getting the quality care that I always knew I needed. The hospital took me seriously and put me onto some excellent resources.
I guess what I am saying is this: Don't give up hope. There are professionals and resources out there that can help you. The trouble is finding them. You might have to call a lot of people to find them ... but the help is out there. Again, you are not alone.
I have someone VERY close...I mean VERY close to me who went through the same thing. I am SHOCKED that your therapists said they have not heard of what you have... you need to find a strong, reputable therapist who has a valid certification, because what you are going through is not crazy. There are medications and therapy activities that can help you feel better. TRUST me. I have so much faith in good psychiatry. You are clearly a smart, strong person who knows when to look for help. Google therapists in your area who have good reviews (a lot have patient reviews online). Those who know anything at all about what you are going thru know that you have no control over your thoughts, you are NOT a bad person, and there is help for you. Please, do not do anything to hurt yourself. You are loved.
Please write again and let me know how you are doing.
-mela
Please do not giveup. I am the mom of a son with obsessinal violent thoughts. Did you know that this type of OCD is called "pure O". People with pure O aren't the "washers, checkers", and others with overt compulsions.
Do you perform rituals in you head to rid yourself of the thoughts? That is definately OCD. My son has overtones of psychosis so don't let that bother you as a term. He hates the idea of that but we have been told by a good psychatrist at a top notch facility that there are many shades of gray. People with major depression and bipolar have what is termed "psychosis". It simply is a type of thought. What changes the situation is if the person thinks they are "real". Even then, with that being termed schizophrenia, it is very treatable with medication.
My son is somewhat medication resistant and we are continuing with more options.
You have options. Your providers are not aware of them. You can find somebody good and who will develop a treatment plan for you. A competent psychatrist and a coordinating therapist are key.
Don't give up.
I am glad you responded. You have got it! Not all Providers are created equal. Make sure you get a complete evaluation by a competent psychiatrist. They are the medication folks and then a good therapist is supposed to help you work with your situation on a day to day basis.
It is work! Sooner or later everyone is going to have some kind of health problem to deal with. Your efforts are as important as finding a good provider.
Do not close your mind to what they are telling you. Start with a psychiatrist They are the doctor and trained to distinguish what is really going on. Get someone good and then go with them. Then a therapist should be partnered with the psyciatrist. This can be done through a sliding scale payment or medicaid at low cost. Look for county mental health agencies. If needed call a crisis hotline to get you started. We took my son into the emergency room and a crisis couselor in order to get a psyciatric appointment moving faster.
Hang in there. Every life is of value. And that means yours.
Callahan
man I've had every horrible and I mean horrible thought you could have, violent and otherwise. And it's not the kind of thoughts you have that make you different. It's all ocd. and many times i've thought what the **** is wrong with me? like there's no way out, but that's bullshit, just keep looking for an ocd specialist and if one can't help you, **** em, find another.
www.amazon.com check out books on OCD also you might like Osho.