My intrusive thoughts get so bad, I just can't stand them. My biggest fear right now is the thought of catching HEP C. The funny thing is it goes in stages. After I stop obsessing about this, I go onto some different worry. It just never stops.
http://ocddisorder.info/
I understand. I know. One of my horrific thoughts was that I would put my granddaughter' foot and leg in the garbage disposal while it was running or in a pot of boiling water on the stove. Another, My son was a police officer and he bought a new service revolver and when he showed it to me, he put it in my hand and immediately, I thought "what if I wipe out everyone in the room?" That was the time I decided that I was surely crazy and sought out the right doctor and found out I was not crazy but had OCD. There was a name for "IT"! Well, my granddaughter is now 17 years old, her leg is quite normal and my son just graduated from Baylor College of Medicine and I didn't shoot anyone! What I had to do about the terrible thoughts, and there were many, is to learn to recognize them for what they are...just OCD thoughts, nothing I want to act on or anything that will happen. Believe it! Ten years from now, you won't have Hep C. It wouldn't hurt to be vaccinated against it but not because you "just had an OCD thought" but because it is a good thing for anyone. Remember...it is only a thought, not a reality.
I'll never forget a therapist telling me years ago to think of my obsessions as little fish swimming by- just observe them without acting on them even though your anxiety may be off the charts and eventually they will swim right on by and your anxiety will go back down again.
I also get those intrusive irrational thoughts of doing harm to others that are close to me or just whoever. It is just your OCD acting up. It's not you, you are not that person, it's that part of your brain that is just sending wrong signals back and fourth to the other part of your brain. Everytime it happens you just have to keep telling yourself and that part of your mind they hey I know this is just my OCD acting up and then shrug your shoulders and move on and right away do soemthing that brings you some level of comfort that you can focus on right away. Rather that be working out, watching something on TV you enjoy, go fishing, whatever it is that you enjoy that brings you some level of enjoyment. I hope I was hopeful to some degree :)
I know how you feel. Its just one after the other.Its exhausting. I wake up and am tired a couple min later because my ocd is so bad.