Ok I have a question about narcs playing the victim. As most of you already know I've been in a very long marriage with a narc and just over the last couple of years have come to recognize who he really is. After reading so much and some therapy along with this wonderful site I have gained a new confidence to ignore most of what he days and show no emotion. NOW he's slowly playing this poor me victim thing. It's hard to explain but firstly it is said in jest but everything is like he's building 'me' a new persona. He says things like "is it alright if I eat my breakfast now?" I reply why would you say something so silly. He'll respond "well I know how annoying I can be if you're working in the kitchen". He'll always talk to the dogs and say things like "don't ask me for a cookie boys, you know your mom is in charge". He's suddenly building me into this all powerful person that he has to come 2nd place to. How stupid this is. First of all he ultimately has what he wants on everything. If I don't initially agree he just wears me down until he succeeds. This coming from the guy who always wins with anyone. It's like some new humorous approach for some new mindset game. I hate when he makes me out to be nasty , selfish or competitive. It'simply not me. Is it possible that I'm just being overly sensitive? I know that he is getting curious about abrupt attitude toward his usual remarks. I am slowly working on my exit plans. Any thoughts or similar experiences?
My thoughts are...start putting more energy and time into your exit plans and try to react to his narc bs even less. Practice not making any expressions on your face. I'm sure he knows you hate it when he makes you out to be nasty. Pick up the speed on those exit plans!
Thanks I'm on it!
You are definitely not overly sensitive, I think he is catching on to the fact that you know exactly what he is doing to you. My ex would do similar things once I started being confident enough in myself to not respond to her as I had been. Even that comment you mentioned "well I know how annoying it is you to when I do x" was something she would say! Keep working towards your plans. You can do it. I think they start this sort of thing once they realize that we aren't putting up with their behaviors anymore and they don't know how to change other than to try different ways to control us.
Oh boy thanks for that. I think I was really starting to believe it. Just goes to show how feedback from everyone on this site is so important.