Ok so i'm new here but i just need to vent. i'm 15 and gradu

ok so i'm new here but i just need to vent. i'm 15 and graduate high school on my 16th birthday and my parents aren't together anymore haven't been for ten years and well i tried to invite my mother to my party but yet she said she couldn't be bothered to take time out of her day to go and i just wish i could make her proud of me for once and be enough but it's like no matter what i do i will never be enough to her, i graduate two years early with straight A's and at 17 i am joining the us.navy on delayed entry to put myself though college for mental heath majoring in trauma and PTSD treatment and maybe even law school as well but i just don't know what to do anymore about it, i want to text her and tell her how much it hurts but at the same time i know it will go in one ear and out the other. i don't know what to do anymore!

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Honey. You can't make your mom something that she is not. You have to find strength in those around you that care and support you, and pray for your mom. She may come around and she may not. Be prepared for both baby. Congratulations on your early finish.

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@Luvsmnms thank you and i know i can’t make her do anything and my friends are here for me thank god for them and music

I am going to tell you right now. Your mom cares about you a lot more than you know. Is she a single mother? Are you a single child? I also want you to know getting into the military isn't as easy as you may think. If you have any past of mental health relapses or anything at all related to the subject such as taking meds your best bet is to go army. I've been there and tried that. But it doesn't matter for me anymore. My fiance doesn't want me going in. It sounds like you've got grew plans for your future. Don't give in now. I have faith in you. If you ever need someone to talk to hmu.

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@Brittany1514 she is a single mom yes but she has two other kids and they are 19 and 26. you don’t tell the people you love and care about the world would be better off without them and she has. my mother has told me all my life i am a disappointment to her and she wished she would have aborted me. my older brother and sister can do no wrong and yet i do everything for her when i would go the 830 some mile to see them twice a year. i don’t take any meds and i know how to hide the stuff from my past all they will do if they find out is have a psychic eval done on me and i know how to pass with flying colors but thank you for the support it means alot

Sorry you feel this way my dad is the same way I once wrote him a 15 page letter and sent it to him. He said nothing about it until I asked him if he got it and he said he did. No one thinks they are the bad guys in their own heads. The only real thing to do is make a choice either stop caring about this or try to sit her down and say seriously mom this is how I feel.. Maybe you can write her a huge letter like I did. Just because my f up of a father didn't care doesn't mean she won't. *hugs* we are here for you okay?

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@pinkmermaid i might try that thank you :slight_smile:

I'm curious... Maybe it's the other way around... She says your the disappointment... Maybe she means she is disappointed in herself for having 1 more. For whatever was going on back then. And doesn't see, that the problem is her and not you. I think that's my dads real problem.

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@Luvsmnms probable because i was a one night stand baby turned into five years of being married before she walked off on me and my dad

I'm proud of you and I don't even know you! :)

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@Aceland thank you so much it means a lot to me

It's a hard thing. I know my decisions have screwed up my kids. But all in all I think they are ok. I also see people that, with out restrictions, totally are perfect with their kids and "seem" to do everything right, but their kids still kill them, or become drug addicts or something. As a parent now, I see things a little different. But it almost hurts more, cuz when I made hard choices, and made things hard on my kids, I try to make it up down the road (when I see the error). I know my family, never rights their wrongs. That's what bugs me the most. Just make things right today, I understand that yesterday can't be redone... But today is a new day for new choices. But some parents never see. (Until something terrible happens... And maybe it's too late) that's the sad part.

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@Luvsmnms you i know what you mean like i don’t have kids of my own but one of my best friends has 14 siblings and i try my best to make sure they stay on the right path because they are family to me and i look at them like i am their older sister and i need to make sure they don’t do something they will regent in life later in life. and the fact that you want to try to change things around for your kids to me shows your a good parent and yes your going to make mistakes but that is normal and it gives you the chance to learn

Thanks wolf. I hope that you find ways to keep looking forward. There are many people (something that I have had to learn), but many people, that find new "family" and acceptance, through friends, spouses and their own children. I like to think that is how I can cope. It's hard, when people hang out and are close to their siblings, parents... But those cards aren't what we were dealt. Hurting ourselves, I've learned, still won't change them. Even if it did, they didn't listen, and can't change it ever, if we kill ourselves. God needs us here for other things... Other people... But for me, I already forgive my family for being stupid, but I pray, and wait... For a day they see themselves as I see them. And try to change it...

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