Okay so I've never done a support group like this before, so idk how this works but I guess I'll just say what's on my mind.. So I'm 17 years old, I'm 5'2 and 255 lbs, my BMI is 46, I wear a size 20, sometimes 22, in clothes I wear size 38H bra. My family has always been overweight, when I was little I was very active and i was in a good weight range. When I was in sixth grade I had my tonsils removed and of course overdid the ice cream part of the post op diet. I slowly started gaining weight and even with exercise and eating right I still struggled to get the weight off. So here I am a senior in high school, At the heaviest I've ever been. I have tried diet and exercise many times but I never see weight loss. I really enjoy running but it hurts too much. I have to wear 4 sports bras just to keep my boobs in place but then it feels like I'm suffocating. I have a job along with school, so I don't have much time to exercise. I have a gym membership but I don't have a car so I don't have a way to go. I constantly struggle with my depression and anxiety. I was with some friends, all thin as sticks, and we were at the mall, we had a limited amount of time so we just went into a few stores. My hate for my body dramatically increased after realizing that none of the clothes in either of the stores would fit me. My self esteem was in the toilet at that point. I've looked into weight loss surgery but I don't want to do the doctor supervised diet, I already know I haven't and can't lose weight I don't need a doctor to tell me the numbers on the scale haven't changed. I need to find an insurance that will cover most or all of the surgery so that I can finally begin to be happy with myself. If anyone knows of one that word cover it please let me know.
Hey! I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. When I was 17 I was in the same boat (minus the boobs). I'm STILL in the same boat. Part of me wants to tell you that you're young and things will get better. It breaks my heart to know that someone so young is so dissatisfied with their body. Then again, I remember feeling the same way. However, the older I've gotten the more I honestly love my curves. I want to lose weight but honestly, I don't want to be below a size 18. I know at your age (I'm 26 so I'm not INCREDIBLY older than you but I'm far enough away from 17 that I can see it clearly if that makes sense) that it's difficult to be so different than the people around you. Going into stores at the mall isn't fun. I don't do it. However, you HAVE to love yourself! I would understand if you decided to get a breast reduction since it causes you so much pain when you run. I'm sure that insurance would cover that. It's a medical thing that could improve your quality of life you know? But after that, get into running if you want. Do what makes you happy. I'm sure that once you're able to that the pounds will come off. Just don't make it about what the scale says. Weight is just a number. Feeling good and being healthy is another thing. At 17 it is easy to hate yourself. However, wait until you're older to make that decision (the weight loss surgery). Learn about who you are. Grow into your personality. If people don't like what they see, they'll get over it. YOU are the only one that has to love yourself. Please don't hesitate to talk to me. I've been in your shoes and I wish that I could have a heart to heart conversation with my own 17 year old self and tell myself that things get so much better. Love yourself sweetheart! Let the beauty that is on the inside shine through on the outside! If you love yourself, you have a confidence that is contagious. Love your curves. Embrace your curves. Focus on getting healthy and not on losing weight! It's easier said than done but just trust me on this. Start loving yourself!
@zassy1520 Thank you so much for your reply, it meant a lot!