On monday i am officially fired

i will get unemployment. thank god. i will need to move because there is too much gossip about me. but i have a house. not so easy. and it is not so easy finding a job either. i really had it made here. made good money. just the manager did not like me cuz i spoke to her in a frustrated tone of voice once. live and learn, but you hope you do it before you are almost 50 and own a home.

so my heart is broken cuz i loved my job and the folks i worked with and basically my dreams have been stolen from me.

not so easy to find a job right now. so tricky. renovating my home enough to rent and then move like a vagabond. nice. at my age. my heart breaks. so much. whatever. i must try to be strong but this week i am just going to drink and take tranquilizers. the world is cold and dark and confusing right now. god is punishing me for all my mistakes in life.

but like this . ouch . how and why. isn't it enough that no one really gives a **** about my suffering.

my friends just yell at me and tell me i will be fine, but that is easy for them to say. my family i have not told yet. it iwould kill them. the pain i will cause them is terrible.

it would be easier to just sleep forever i think sometimes. but i would hurt my family. and i want to overcome my suffering too. i believe i believe in happiness again.

I'm sorry for what happened & the length of agonizing time frame you had to endure to finally hear the answer, you mentioned your in the medical field on other sites & I understand how that must make you feel in reference to the patients you cared for.

Again I'm sorry for your loss.

April

april, thank you for your kind words. they mean the world to me. you are a voice out of the darks and there is a candle in it. love elena

I really want to say I'm sick inside from what the greed of people in past & current behavior/decisions that have led alot of us to all of the issues of present day, Companies & Corporations HOLDING on to ever penny they can by not hiring people (for $$$$$ future reasons) & keep the economy KINDA going. Its scarey & we all need to take responsibility for it happening, just my point of view.