Well, last year round this time i was deep into the recovery process with weekly meetings with my therapist, meetin with nutritionist and doctor, everything was in full swing.
This year this time i am recovered, i still see my nutrtitionist though, (by my own choice)but thats about it.
Im entering a particularly difficult part of the year, both regarding work and other things and stress levels do tend to go dangerously high. Dont get me wrong i am doing fine, i feel really well, my eating is good, and ED behaviours are not around. BUT and there is a but, i do find myself these days feeling a little overly cautious, scared maybe. Though i get up each day and remind myself that i AM fine, the memory of where i was last year this time seems to be getting stronger and stronger these days and as i feel a slight panic rising inside of me i try to reasure myself and tell myself that it is just my subconsious reminding me to be cautious...these are tricky days...maybe my mind is reminding me to stop me from thinking of turning back....
I believe i can make it through without going back because that IS what i want, i am happy without ED and am so so so so so much better off. Im not sure what my problem here is, or if there really is one.... so im writting hoping i'll get somewhere through this...i guess i just cant help but ignore the fact that i went through this period of the year last year with a hell of alot of outside support and the years before that fully sucked into ED....This year its differant, i have a lot less outside help and no ED (Thankfully...truly thankfully) and i just want to be sure i will be fine. I remembered today a very important thing i learnt last year and was often told from people here aswell. One day at time...Just like i took recovery that way i guess i should remember to take actual life too. I will be fine...one day at a time, always remembering how better off i am today, how much more light there is in my life today, even with the day to day life issues that come accross my way, without ED life is so much more full of light....