in 45 minutes it will be 24 hours since i have eaten anything. i have been so depressed, and overwhelmed lately my sleep, and eating have been way off kilter. got four small bits in me of chicken and rice, trying to drink some apple juice with it. i had felt better about taking an easy day, partly is due to it rained, so my outside plan to continue the work on my van was thwarted, partly cause this past week has been so draining i felt i deserved an easy day. still need to eat though, what a struggle to hold something down, aside from getting it ready, and eating it in the first place. now looking at the bowl of rice i do not feel like eating anymore. four bits, guess that is something at least.
Yeah, you should eat. Crackers? Jello? I remember when I was depressed last time I stopped eating and I was forced to eat baby food to get some nutrition in me. I usually lose 10 pounds in few days when Im depressed and I'm already down to 90lbs. Not eating makes you sleep more and sleeping more makes you eat less and thus the cycle begins...I know how you feel....I just made myself hungry for applesauce.
Sunday is my ex girlfriends birthday. I texted her sister who is my contact person to send them love hugs and kisses. She has my two youngest kids. Tonight one of my best friends is going out to EJ Thomas Hall with my wife. Although we have known each other half our lives, we only lived together for a week after getting married in 2003, then i have only seen her twice since then. One of the times was in family court in 2007 when she lost custody of our daughter who was left in the house after she was taken to jail for beating up her boyfriend in front of the cops. She did not speak a word in court, even the judge got angry with her. It was her fourth court date in a year, past the sun down date, and she refused to take anger management, or parenting classes. She has three times refused the divorce, and Ohio will not force it. My ex girlfriend whom we have two children together left four times in five years to go back to Ohio, once staying in the mission until she wanted to come back three months later. She left last Dec 2010, took both kids with her this time, and told the neighbors she was not coming back. So I do not get to talk to my kids on either side, my oldest daughter has severe autism, and does not even know who I am, and every time I respond to a text from my ex I get ridiculed by others. So with the issues I am going through with my landlord, ex roommates, my wife, and my ex girlfriend, this has just been a tough time for me lately. I have lost 40 pounds since Dec 27. From 265, so I guess it is a good thing, but not healthy the way it is done not eating for two days cause of stress, depression, anxiety. I tried to eat, but the spoon with the rice on it was too heavy to bring to my mouth, so I put it away, wrapped myself up tightly in my blankets, and tried to sleep. One friend textd me with good news, so I called him to offer support. I called another friend who said he would call me back later. Another friend said he called a mutual friend and left a message for him to call me. I also left a message for someone else to call me. I wrapped myself up tighter in the blankets, and began to cry. applesauce, mmm applesauce. anticipating a rough week i purchased two large jars when at the store last, but have not opened them. drank half the apple juice though.
I'm sorry to hear you going through so much! I honestly can't relate to any of that but I know stress and eating don't always mix. Sounds like you need to get up and force yourself to get out in the world. Sleeping life away isn't going to help. It's good that you have friends who you can count on to call and support you. That's more than I have. Eat the applesauce! Blankets are a comfort but right now they are the enemy..go outside and get some fresh air. It helps relieve some stress.