Over A Year It's Better But It's Not Perfect

Well I have not done my drug in a year and 4 months.

It is a lot easier than it was at first but it seems like here lately I am getting in a way of thinking again that I need to escape.

There is a lot of stress in my life, as usual I am working too much and have too much to handle, and too many responsibilities. I am getting tired of being responsible, I just want to cut loose and blow off some steam.

I know of course that I can't and really I don't even have any connections anymore, but I am sure I could find dope if I went hunting for it. I just have not hunted that hard.

I'm trying to stay positive and not be thinking the way I am.

There are many positives to being drug free. Its so nice to not have to worry I will get busted. To not have to worry about running out. I enjoy not crashing and feeling like ****. I like not having white boogers. Not getting ripped off, not dealing with fake friends. It's nice to not have to be a slave any more and to escape all that craziness. I do hate being tired and getting fatter, but all in all it is a good trade.

Thanks to everyone who has had a kind word for me. It's been a hard year and a half. Its actually been a pretty hard last 4 or 5 years. LOL.

Hey joker_girl, Congratulations on a year and 4 months! I am proud of you. That is an accomplishment. I like seeing that you listed the positive things about being clean. That is one idea that is shared in recovery - making a gratitude list. Another is not forgetting what it was like - remembering why you decided to quit - how bad it was. Do yu have anyone you can talk to face to face about what is going on? Think of some fun things you like to do to help you relax and do them. Keep sharing with us. We are always here for you. ((((hugs))))