Overweight because of bulimia

Before I decided to go into recovery from my eating disorder I was able to maintain a healthy body weight (it was terribly difficult most of the time). Since I started this process I have gained weight and now I feel like I'm going to be stuck like this forever. I am a great athlete so its very hard for me to deal with the physical feeling of carrying this weight around. I don't weight myself so its hard to say how much I have gained but I know my old clothes no longer fit loosely. The ED voice tries to tell me to just do a quick crash diet and then I can worry about recovering while I am smaller. I know that this isn't the answer but its so tempting! Does anyone on here have experience with trying to recover while being overweight? I'm worried about how it could be affecting my health. Not to mention I hate having to buy new clothes for a body that I am praying is just temporary.
Everyone tells stories of finding their natural weight within about a year of starting recovery. Its been six months for me now and I am totally stuck at this size! Any advice would be helpful at this point because I'm confused and discouraged. I'm very good at losing weight but I am terrified to fall into my old cycle that made me miserable. Help!

Hey Britta,
Well done for starting the recovery process and your achievement so far. I do understand how easy it is to hear that voice and slip back into old patterns so easily but as you know yourself that is such a slippery slope.

Just start thinking about how you are feeling physically? Better? Less tired emotionally and physically? Happier? These are things to focus on when you worry about any weight issues. This will all balance out for you...but keep your focus on the positives.

You are doing so fantastic, I hope you pat yourself on the back everyday, because getting through something so mentally blocking is so so difficult and yet you are doing it.

Well done sweetie
Love to you
MG x

Hello,
I am a long time fan of freedom from bulimia. I began throwing up when I was 11, I am now 41. Over the last few years I've been more often in recovery than out. I see this (on most days) as a great success, slow and frustrating, but success.
Gaining weight for me is a big downer since I haven't been underweight since my teenage years. I can speak from my own experience which is bulimia not recovery is the biggest threat health and even my appearance.
Getting used to being fully hydrated, letting go of the option of binging (through holding in a few over did it meals) is part of the process.
Ultimately our body knows what we need and we will not be overweight if we listen.
I know it's hard and uncomfortable, but it's a birth process, and like a mother we may have t be swollen physically for awhile to give birth to this new spirit, this new life.
I am not saying it doesn't suck.
I of course need to listen to my own words.
Peace
Patsy

hey britta,

when you talk overweight, is that relative to your own perception and what you accept as ok weight, or do you mean e.g. an overweight BMI? i know we're not talking about numbers here but i think it's important to make that differentiation.

i can understand your worries though. i am by no means recovering but i'm gradually gaining weight (i have been a healthy weight for a long time already being bulimic) and it totally freaks me out. especially cause i'm aiming to go for inpatient care and i'm convinced i'll put on even more weight. then i tell myself, well i can lose it when i come out again; this would certainly mean i didn't learn anything though.

i find it so scary too to have to rely on what your body tells you and to wait for that biological comfort weight to set in. what if it's way above of what i (my ED) consider acceptable?

but in the end that's probaly what it is about, accepting ourselves no matter what!! ahrd, if you couldn't do it all your life...

but you've come so far, don't give up. don't only work on your eating habits but as well on how you perceive yourself!! you can do it. xx

If you are basing it on BMI dont - heres a little tid bit for ya....catagorically according to the standard BMI chart, Will Smith falls into the Obese catagory....Will Smith!? Obese?! Thats right...his weight and his height put him into the catagory of being obese.

totally agree with that, most muscular and tall people fall into overweight and obese, and Britta, you did say you’re an athlete!

how do you know for sure you are overweight--dont you think THIS could very well be your natural size and your not used to it??????? i used to think i was overweight when i gained my weight during recovery----thinking i was obese--but guess what????? that was my normal natural weight. everone with ED thinks they are overweight or obese when they come into their natural weight. we still think only underweight is good. and normal is bad. we need to change that around to underweight = bad and healhty= good and not fat.

we all have trouble accepting our natural weight after ED--i know i do. i still think i am a fat cow at my natural weight . but i know it is only ED. my fiancee says I ( and those with ED) CANNOT and i stress this word CANNOT see ourselves for who we really are. i know i cant.

i hope you can accept yourself and embrace your weight for not what you think it should be but for who you are...

i takes time accepting out natural weigth but it can happen

love
maureen

I forgot I had written this post. I have definitely started the process of accepting my body. I really think this is higher than my natural weight though because I don't feel that well. I now know that I have hypothyroidism though and this contributed to the weight gain. Medication for my thyroid should help the weight come back off slowly and without changing my eating habits if I am truly meant to be a smaller size. I have never even come close to weighing this much but since I have been this size since June I am getting used to it. I have bought all new clothes that are comfortable and flattering. Now I just need the courage to call a therapist and really start kicking ED out of my life. I know that life is meant to be happier and healthier than this!

"The ED voice tries to tell me to just do a quick crash diet and then I can worry about recovering while I am smaller."

That's it. That's it exactly. That's the reason we all get suckered in to this! Because it looks like it's going to work, and so let it work first, and then fix the problem. If you have too much water in a bucket and you develop a hole, you don't fix the hole when you still have too much water, right? You let some drain out first.
If only it worked that way. If only we weren't (literally) killing ourselves in the process.

green tea in the morning before you brush your teeth in the morning and before you sleep is healthy and helps you lose weight as a 15 year old athlete i would know

Congeats on being confortable with your self again! I know its hard and its alot of work. Buying new clothes is a very hard thing to do to!Great work!