I really did not know how else to deal with the hallucinations, but scream obscenities at them. For me they always come with a lot of pain. i am glad i joined this site. But how, pray tell does one deal with the paranoia and thought insertion?
tell me more Shiro, you are a brave person, what kind of pain do hallucinations come with. is it physical or emotional or both? can you clarify that? i think you are very courageous to get clear on this.
then we can talk about the paranoia and thought insertion. and what you mean by that.
i only have a few ideas because i live with this disorder with my sons and see what they go through and what works for them. i have had a few friends that have had this disorder as well.
Stanisz,
Thank you for your response. Very kind of you. Yes I can clarify. The pain is something that can be described as mental anguish. A horrible deep feeling of being like attacked savagely. the voices often call me horrible names and repeat to me all the bad things that I hate to hear in regard of my life. Things that I may have been told in my past that have really hurt me. You are so and so, they will sometimes tell me, referring to a person that I would rather die than be. Not that anyone can ever be another person.. but the voices keeping on telling me that i am someone else can make me begin to act like the other person, or so I feel. At times I also feel a deep actual pain inside my head.
Also when I am talking to someone, and they tell me something that is actually in my mind that I did not tell them, I feel like they can hear my thoughts. When horrible things come to mind in certain places, I call that the perception of thought insertion. My reaction to this is get meds from my Doc, and the faulty perceptions go.
ok that is alot to deal with and you are indeed a very brave person. God has given you a tremendous burden and we must find a way to turn this around for you. first strength i see you have is you realize that this is part of your disorder. that is key right there. these things are not necessarily real. i mean i understand they are real to you when they are happening. but in reality the real world we all live in you are you and not some other person. for that i reccommend strengthing your sense of your self when you are in your right mind. saying a prayer like this “i give love and acceptance to Shiro who i am now, who i was yesterday and who i will be tomorrow, i am me and no one else. God made me me and loves me. i am a child of God”. something like that must be said and said to yourself on a daily basis i reccommend you try it when you are well and happy. then when you are ill, combine that with the meds and see if this prayer asking Gods help to take it away will work. shouting obscenities will not work in my experience. this method has worked for me on other matters. and that is how i reccommend it to you.
tell me what you think and next i will talk about thought insertion if you like.
Hope and faith in you.Again i commend you for your intelligence and fine work you have already done, your self expression and excellent writing!
I too have felt the actual pain that comes with hallucinations, at the top of your head ? and have dealt with feeling that people can hear my thoughts or insert thoughts into my head.
i have had people respond to thoughts that i did not speak aloud, and no one has convinced me that im just imagining it.
i also have a voice that reminds me of all the pain ive suffered in my life, and who tells me things about myself that i do not want to believe ... "you are this or that," calling me names....it's a horrible thing to deal with.
my meds are not the only thing that has helped with this... but i believe my faith in God has helped me as well.
the last time this happened, i was comming in the back door from putting the dog out, and suddenly had the sensation of someones hands on my head then the pain came, a headache at the top of my head that rooted deep in my brain. then the voices came...at first it was just like hearing many conversations at once, i couldnt understand them, but then came one voice louder than the rest...it sounded like a recording that had been stretched out to slow down the words... worthless...fat....lazy....repulsive...
it went on and on...i went down to my knees and held my head...when it stopped i called a friend...it had been more than half an hour...
aside from the voices my hallucinations are pretty harmless...
the little girl that poked me in the forehead, a fat man who sang songs while floating in my room...my diningroom table shaking or on fire...
mostly what bothers me is my memory issues...remembering things that didnt happen...having no memory of things that did...
i deal with each thing as it happens....but the kind of hallucination you have described i have no good advice for, i just try to get through them. and know that what is said to me is not real, focus on the positive things about me and ignore it as i ignored my little sister who teased me as a child.
Hi Stanisz, raeleigh,
Had written this on monday but could not send it immediately because of a small prob. I will try the positive affirmations. what I had been doing to solve this problem is claim Jesus is within me and He is not all those bad things I am supposed to be. The perception of thought reading and thought insertion is not all that easy to deal with, I assure you. And it is only now that I am learning to give love and acceptance to me.
The only time I can ignore the voices is when I have something else that is taking up my attention. By the way screaming bad things to the voices is the worst thing to do. I end making them more determined to get to me, and I feel bad to do such a thing. As myself I am rather quiet and not prone to perverseness.
My memory is usually quite okay. But once or twice, i have lost a whole day. What i mean is I wake up thinking it is Thursday only to be told it is Friday. And I wonder, where did Wednesday go because I can only remember what I did yesterday and the day before, not all week. No one notices anything unusual on me on the few days I have lost because they would tell me about it. i also really is bothered by this.
But what about the stagnation, and the insecurity. This other things that are arising in my life as a result of Schizophrenia are also quite a bother to me.