I am new to this website. I am in a lesbian relationship, and have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. We argue frequently. Once every few months or so, It gets out of hand, The other night we argued and it turned physical, she slapped me pretty hard a few times, I had slapped her too, which is way wrong, I can't believe I would that. The police ended up being called and had to rescue me. Then the medics came and so forth and so on, I'm fine, my face was bleeding a little bit nothing bad. They arrested my girlfriend and said it is out of my hands. now we can't have contact for a few weeks till court. I love her and want to talk and see her, and she is devastated. The state is gonna prosecute. It is her first offense, domestic battery. I want to know what they are gonna do. Is she going to jail? I know she has an anger problem, we are both going to go to anger management classes, and maybe counseling. Everybody is very upset that I am not saying I am going to leave her. They say she is going to really hurt me.. am I fooling myself. Is this battered wife syndrome or whatever the name is? Don't want to be in denial, but the problem isn't all her, and I am not ready to give up. Please help. I live in Florida. Thank u.
If you will not press charges, probably she will not go to jail. Not very familiar with the Florida laws. Just be careful, think well before you commit to this person again, some people do not learn their lesson. There are so many good people, maybe you should take a brake for now. Wishing you well.
If it's her first offense she may or may not end up doing any time. I live in Cali where the DV laws are pretty tough, but even a first time offender here will be offered anger management programs and/or substance abuse treatment (if applicable here-). It's really up to the DA in your county to decide 'what to do' with her.
Otherwise it really sounds like you're on the right track. Anger management programs are helpful and I can't encourage you enough to find a good Queer-friendly therapist - alone together or both.
IMHO y'all need to figure out why/how this happened and work hard with a professional to ensure you have the emotional 'tools' to avoid letting the rage get the best of you. In the meantime you might want to think of living apart while you work it out. Passions which are that easily inflamed are probably the result of long term habits (and/or being brought up around folks who thought violence was the answer to addressing frustrations, etc- ) if she's not really honest with this process and more than willing to give it 110% you would be well-advised to back off. She could be focusing on impressing you more than focusing on figuring out where the hitting compulsion comes from and making it part of your past.
Best of luck to you both. :) Been there, done that. (ouch!)
Thank you marcie and sweetpea for the great advice. I am being careful, and trying to admit that there really might be a problem. She grew up in a very abusive household. And she doesn't remember that night. Says she blacked out. I have to admit it has been tough last couple of years, although this was the worst. I do want us to go to classes, and counseling. I am staying in a motel now and very very confused and upset. I love her but I listen to my heart, not head. Can't think straight. I will gets help, or else we won't make it. I want to try. Can't just leave.
yes it is abuse, she probably won't go to jail, but you both need counseling
Thank you. I agree, and we will be getting counseling and classes. I'm giving it one more shot, hoping for the best. There are some deep seated issues I don't want to look at right now, and she needs a little help. Me too. I don't ever, ever want to put my hand or hands on another person in a harmful way!! I have anger and resentment that I need to look at regarding her, but I do love her.. Just trying to get by.