My husband wants a divorce but we still live together because financially we can not split right now. Sometimes he is so mean to me and cold and other times he acts like he doesn't want a divorce. I am so confused because this all came out of nowhere and he expects me to be able to just turn off my feelings for him but I can't because I wasn't expecting this. I don't know what to do. I act like this don't bother me in front of him but I feel if I keep going like this I'm going to have a breakdown.
I feel in my heart that he doesn't really want a divorce but he doesn't know what he wants.
Any suggestions on what I can do to work this marriage out or to make this divorce easier.
Hi my name is Tonya and I have gone through a divorce. My question is Do u and your husband have children together?
Hi Tonya, no my husband and I do not have any children.
no children sure does make it a whole lot less complicated.. Move on sweetheart, find the love of your life :)
Do not let him control the situation any longer. Take back the control and move on. You don't have to pretend about anything. You have the right to feel exactly how you feel. You didn't ask for any of this. Set boundaries and don't let him cross them. See if you can move back in with family or a good friend.
You need to do this for your own sanity.
Good luck and we are here for you!
If he cant make up his mind make it up for him. it seems to me like he wants you to be in constent termoile. Dont put up with it anymore. sorry about the spelling....... make his mind up for him girl!!!!!
Thank you everyone for your support! It's so hard to just move on when I can't understand the reason to break up. He has told me it is so hard for him to not say he loves me and kiss me before he leaves for work but if it is so hard then why fight it...if we still love each other why get divorced? It isn't making any sense to me and I don't know how to detach.
Honestly to me it sounds like he's cheating and the hugs and kisses are out of guilt.. He knows he's wrong. I agree with Gayla you can't continue to allow him to control the situation making you feel bad and you haven't done anything to deserve this. I know its hard i've been through it, but now that i'm divorced the only regret that i have is that i didn't move on sooner instead of sitting around waiting.on him to make his mind on what he wanted. I know your scared, but Once he sees your strength and confidence that you can move on. He's going to be trying to get you back anyway and whether or not you do go back well that's up to you.. There's no wrong or right answer. It's whatever makes you happy.
Angie
Honestly, to me it sounds like he's cheating and the hugs and kisses are out of guilt.. He knows he's wrong. I agree with Gayla you can't continue to allow him to control the situation making you feel bad and you haven't done anything to deserve this. I know its hard i've been through it, but now that i'm divorced the only regret that i have is that i didn't move on sooner instead of sitting around waiting.on him to make his mind on what he wanted. I know your scared, but Once he sees your strength and confidence that you can move on. He's going to be trying to get you back anyway and whether or not you do go back well that's up to you.. There's no wrong or right answer. It's whatever makes you happy.
Hi, Angie....I agree with the other posts also. If your husband tells you he wants a divorce, then some days acts like no he does not, you are being forced to live in limbo-land which will turn you into a nervous wreck. He does have all the power right now, I'd call his bluff and file for divorce and get the ball back in your court. He's either in or out, but he can't have it both ways and expect you to be able to handle this....it's too hard. If he can't make a decision, that leaves it up to you. I know it isn't easy, but he's not playing fair with you at all. I'm so sorry you are in this position, I truly wish you the best and hope a day will come in the near future when you are 100% sure of what you would like to do given the circumstances. Lots of hugs to you! Sunshine!
Well, last night the husband has said yet again he wants a divorce but wants to date me after the divorce. To be honest I am so fed up with all of this I have told him he needs to move out. I don't work and need the financial help and use of the only car we have but I don't really care about any of that right now. I need him gone asap and I need to move on. No woman should feel like this and wonder why can't he love me. I have told him once I am done I'm done and this is why I have been trying to work on it. But I realize now (with all of your help) that there is no fixing a marriage that doesn't want to be fixed. So ladies I have realized that my marriage is over and life goes on. In the end I'm sure he will come crawling back but by then it will be too late, my heart is broken and there is nothing he can do to fix it.
Ahhhh…I’m so, so sorry! He can’t want to go through with a divorce and then date you when the divorce is done. For God’s sake, he wants his cake and wants to eat it too…and that doesn’t work for most women. I don’t understand what he’s going through to be honest, but believe it or not, I had a girlfriend that her husband did this exact same thing to her, he went so far as to move out into his own place because she told him he had to go if that’s how he felt, and after he was in his own place like a “fish out of water”, it didn’t take him very many months before he was totally sorry, came crawling back, kissing butt, and has turned into the great guy he was when she married him SO many years ago (they have grown daughters)…we figured he was going through some kind of a mid-life crisis or something. Your husband is pretty much backing you up against a wall so you have to make the choice for him because he’s afraid to. Only you know what you’re ready to do and how much you can take. We’re all here if you need us to bounce things off of. Lots and lots of hugs to you…God knows my girlfriend who went through this same scenario sure did cry a lot, but it worked out in the end. Maybe this will too, tine will tell. Sunshine!
Does he really??? wow he has some balls about him. Good for you put your foot down and stop being used by him you will make it, it will get harder but stand your ground and dont forget what you have been through and hang in there
If he won't leave and you can't then start making yourself scarce. go out to a movie in the evenings, meet with friends, take off for a weekend. Don't tell him your whereabouts. Start the life without him now. See how that makes him feel