I am brand new to this group! Today I went to work at a high school and I saw a girl that I worked with 3 years ago in a different town. She was a cutter when we first met, I was a cutter for many years. (I am very grateful that today I can say I have not harmed my body in 2+ years.) This is something I am very VERY passionate about as it consumed me for a good 10 years.
Seeing this girl I asked her "T- how are you doing?" She said she had been well but I could tell by her look she was not ok. She is the product of a bad up bringing and alienation. I see so much of my teenage self in her and I think about the pain I felt every day growing up and how, like so many, I just didnt want to wake up and face life for even one more day. I have always felt that SOMEDAY when I was strong enough to help others with this problem I would. I still do not feel strong enough- just typing this brings tears to my eyes. But seeing her sparked me to search for an oppurtunity to help. This is my start.
I believe you control your destiny, you control your future. Bad things happen to you if you let them. It is tough to find the power to overcome, in fact it is one of the hardest things I have ever done. I promise to all the suffer-ers out there IT CAN BE DONE!
No matter the severity of your story you CAN control each and every moment. Find love for yourself, find inner peace and joy- own it. You do not need medications, therapists- you need inner strength restore your faith in yourself! Life can be beautiful if YOU allow it to be..
I think you are very right. It is during the tough times that we are tested the most and we can be strong and get out of those times to see better days.
Thankyou soooo much . I have always thought it was just me and I would have to have it for the rest of my life as I have tryed and tryed but have got nowhere . It looks like I have been looking in the wrong places but at least now I know there is one . Thankyou!
You just spelled out one of my favorite optimistic phrases...
NOWHERE
Do you see this as No-where or can you see it as Now-here.
You can get there.. when you stop telling yourself you can't. read the book the secret!
Isn't funny how we tend to look outside ourselves for answers. We all have to know, deep down that we will ultimately be the ones who will have to make the change happen. We are scared, feel weak, fragile, powerless, and so we look elsewhere.........I believe until we feel strong enough to make it happen for ourselves;)
I know I go through my weak and depressive times, looking for help outside, until I find that nobody else will do it for me. I have to make it happen and want it bad enough myself!!! Even knowing this, I still tend to look outside myself, waiting for my doctor, a friend, medication, whiskey, a knight on his horse, etc. to come and save me from my private hell.
The situation, depression, whatever, either lasts long enough for me to be sick of it and to change it....and usually by that time, I'm strong enough to make smart choices and I have the energy to do something about it finally.
It's true though, we have to sail our own ship, drive our own car, direct ourselves.......or someone, something else will end up doing it for us!!! We just have to find the strength to make it happen for ourselves! We have to want it bad enough!!! Until then, we just float and let the wind blow us where it may.
Just another manic rambling!! LOL;)
Maniclove,
You're not rambling, and you certainly don't sound manic. Your words are obviously very deeply heartfelt, and to share your strength and encourage another with your own experience, is a very caring gift. It's so true that we seem to look outside ourselves first and foremost. And while I think there can be great wisdom to be found out there, and some tools and techniques that are valuable to learn, eventually it's up to each of us to apply what we need, and make our own path.
My own personal opinion is that at times we may need, at least some, outside help, if only to realize that we're not alone. There's nothing wrong with therapy, I feel, as long as we're encouraged to take charge of our goals -- and WE decide what's working, or not. There are times when even the most excellent therapeutic techniques are just not going to help with our current struggles, and times when the finest wisdom offered just doesn't resonate, in the moment.
There are also times, when just realizing that even one other person, has felt just as desperate, about something you've felt so alone with, and that break in your isolation is all it takes to spark your own hope and determination. It's still a journey though, and not one that you can take as a hermit.
I so wish that you'd never ever hurt as you have. I also hope that you have some sense of the strength and grace with which you've made it through, and now share. It really shines in your words.
There's no rule that you can't have some days, where you just get to be a kid -- in or out of bed. Here's hoping you'll let yourself cuddle up with something warm and fuzzy, or read something just for fun.
Wishing you joy in your healing,
em
Very well written! Thank you for your post!