Porn Addiction. How do you get over this? I have been wat

Porn Addiction.

How do you get over this? I have been watching pornography since I was 11, and it has only grew even into my engagement with my fiance. Having this addiction has made me objectivity women, have high expectations and false ideas about what to do with my life, and even when I close my eyes, I see imprints of these performers from the screen in the darkness of my eyelids. I glance too much at women and even need to look at nude pictures or go into those articles where it shows skin. This has affected my relationship with my fiance a lot, and I don't want to lose her over it.
I believe the hardest thing for me, though, is accepting that I have this addiction and not wanting to give it up. It's all I knew, and, ironically, has made me good in sex because of it.

For those suffering, how do you overcome this? What little steps should I take? What is your advice?

1 Heart

Try to look into one of those sex anonymous meetings in your area. Like Alcoholics anonymous but really it's. Sex Anonymous. Sorry I'm no real help to you.

One thing that I have found to be very effective in moving past porn in my life are some of the things that can be done day to day. What I do most days (everyday that I can) is listen to podcasts about porn addiction. Two of my favorites are "Overcome Pornography for Good" with Sara Brewer and "Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts - PBSE" with Steven Moore and Mark Kastleman. "Overcome Pornography for Good" prides it self on helping people overcome porn habits and addictions shame-free, and really has helped me develop healthy habits and thought processes about how to live a porn-free life. PBSE is a podcast done by experts on the topic, and those experts are also people recovering from their own past porn addictions. Both podcasts offer a lot of help and can really help, and have motivated me to believe that recovery is 100% possible. Changing your daily habits and discovering or rediscovering engaging new habits and hobbies is something that has also helped me. Adding as many new hobbies and habits into your life as you can, until the point that you truly believe that watching porn is something you absolutely do not have to do. Being somebody that also began watching porn at a very young age, I understand your pain and understand why overcoming this may feel un-achievable. But I know now that eliminating porn from your life is very possible, with a lot of work and dedication to quitting. I hope this was able to help you! Good Luck!

3 Hearts

@Eyeman1050 Great reply. Keeping yourself busy with new Hobbies and changing your daily habits. That’s actually good for all addictions. And I keep telling people that.

LordofEli, you said the hardest thing for you is accepting you have this addiction and not wanting to give it up. You understand the risks (what you don't want to lose), so it will have to start with your mindset. If you don't want to give it up then at the time you made this comment at least you were not yet at a point where you wanted change. So, if you are seeking help and don't want change, it's like wanting two opposite things and you will be spinning your wheels. You have to think long and hard about your situation and come from that with a resolve on the direction you really want to go, no matter what that involves, like facing fears, the unknown or whatever.

The addiction is like jumping over a 5-foot hole over and over. You may be fit and have no concern about the jump and there is a reward/satisfaction when you land on the other side of the hole. But keep in mind you can get tired/worn out and you may at one point misjudge your ability to make one last jump. You need to recognize the hole for what it is. You have plenty of room to pass very far from that hole and not have to make that dangerous jump. The reward/satisfaction you may regard as a "good thing" is just a trick to eventually get you into the hole. You need to recognize you are playing with fire, maybe not in a literal sense you can relate to, but that's what you are doing. And you have to decide whether you want to keep doing that or not. I think you may benefit from thinking of your addiction in those ways. I know it's hard to think porn is out to ruin your life, especially if you are giving it credit for making you good in sex, but take the time also to listen to people who are taking a stance against their addiction or even spouses of addicts. This is all about getting you to the right mindset that will help you "exit" porn addiction.