So a few days ago I experienced what I believed to be a manic episode. It only lasted a few hours, but it was very scary. I couldn't stop moving, my body was shaking, I felt this sense of urgency- I HAD to leave my apartment IMMEDIATELY and if I sat still I would surely spontaneously combust. My mind was racing, I couldn't stick with one thought, and I was talking at top speeds. I was chain smoking cigarettes (not something I usually do), and I felt like I could run a marathon. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't stop. It was a terrifying feeling. I thought I was losing my mind.
With all that being said, it only lasted a few hours and I did not have a sense of euphoria. Typically (I believe) manic episodes last for a few days and are accompanied by a sense of euphoria. I felt terrible during this episode, like I was literally losing my mind at that moment.
Has anyone with Borderline experienced this before?
Yes, too many times to count! My primary dx is BPD but I also have bi-polar. But I've gotten to the point when I can tell that these shorter episodes are my BPD and the more lengthy episodes are the bi-polar. When I get like that, I HAVE to do something physical--go chop weeds, dig a hole and then refill it, take an ax to an old stump of wood--things things that are going to exert energy and effort and usually burns it out of me.
Rapid cycles can and do happen with bipolar disorder, the primary dx involving mania. This is the first I've heard of someone without bipolar experiencing mania (not saying it can't happen, just that bipolar may be developing). Mania for me generally does last only a few hours, and I have the feelings you describe, always. I don't have "good" manias very often, they're always twisted, torqued moods, sickening and scary. I am dx'd bipolar I rapid cycling, and possibly BPD (not a true dx yet, which is why I'm still doing research). My doc said I have a "flavor" of BPD added into my bipolar, but don't have the negative self injurous thoughts. But, he doesn't know all, though I've been seeing him 3 years, the BPD symptoms I've experienced are things I've not thought to tell him until recently (mainly loneliness, even when I KNOW I'm not alone in this world, I don't have a significant other and that is affecting my feeling of self worth.)