Prayer is my only peace

lately i have been so enstable. my soul has realy been through alot in the 33 years it has been on this planet. this year has been realy hard for me. i suffer from severe anziety. it attacts me when im semi asleep. i have been sepperated from my girlfriend and 11 month old baby girl for too months and it feals like my soul has left with them. it hurts so bad to be a weekend dad. i told my girlfriend what happend but she just dosent beleave my words. if it wasnt for the lord i probly would have been ended my life. but i am drivven on. these las too months there has been absolutely no companonship in my life and that is a hard thing to deal with rite now.i am like lord please lift up and repair my heart because i am so dammaged on the inside. if i my say, i truly am a very beautiful person on the outside. but my inside is in true turmoil. i cry all the time. i think about my problums even in my sleep. i feal as thopugh im in a prolonged emotional breakdown. i have seen so much with these eyes that they are burdend. shamefull because eveyone says how beautiful they are. i refuse to take any medication for the mental part because of the severe side effects of them. it will give u a strke and much worse by taking it. i have seen people flip out worse and compleetly loose thierselfs to the meds and also seen it **** up thier body in the worst way. it also makes u suasidle so i try to stay away from it. i think this website is a pluss. it always fals good to have somebody to talk too. i have tears in my eyes as i type this but it still feals good to get it out. thank all of you all for being here.

Sweetheart I don't think you meant to post this in the herpes section but for what it's worth here is my take on it.

You are a dad now so nothing is about you anymore. That baby girl needs her dad, and she needs him to be in control of his life and his emotional state, if that means you need to go to the doctor and get a prescription of something MILD to help you get your sh1t together you will do it, right!

When anti-depressant are taken under the care of a doctor they will help you! You are not a doctor, you do not have the expertize to judge what is good and not good for you.

Go talk to a it for your little girl.

I feel your pain. I am 36 and this has been one of the hardest years of my life as well and have really found calm in this support group and in God. I lost my job in August when the bank I worked at was taken over by the FDIC and am yet to find a job. In November I found out my husband of 1 1/2 years (together 4 1/2 total) was having a 9 month affair with his best friends wife who was having an affair to get back at her husband for having an affair. So after finding out about the affair, and knowing the other woman and her husband have been unfaithful regularly, I get STD tested. Turns out I have hsv 1 & 2 and my husband did not. I must have got it from a previous relationship but since I have never had a break out I did not know. I am the only one that has remained faithful to my vows and I end up with the STD. I have had fewer partners in my entire life then they have had just since they've been married and I have the STD.

The affair was so hard to understand since when I agreed to marry my husband we both had such a strong moral belief that a marriage was between one man and one woman. We both had been cheated on in previous relationships and he new the pain it caused so we both swore we would never do it to each other. It has been such a struggle for me to get through the affair and the added emotional toll of finding out I have hsv on top of it. I have been relying on God to help me but it has been such a struggle. To much at one time. I feel your pain and we just have to know that it will all work out if we just keep moving forward one day at a time. Take it day by day because anything more than that is to over whelming.