Premature Ovarian Failure

Hi All, I'm 25 and was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure at 23....it's been rough. The last 2 years I've just buried it away and haven't wanted to "deal" with it... and wanted to seek some support because even though I have a wonderful husband and great friends and family, I just feel like nobody else really understands my pain.
I started out feeling sorry for myself and asking myself why me/us? What horrible thing did I do in my life to deserve this? Why don't we deserve to have a baby naturally? Now I'm trying to accept this and educate myself in my options: Egg donation and Adoption.
I'd appreciate some tips, support, advice....anything.
Thanks and good luck to everyone else out there :)

I'm sorry to hear your story. I have not been diagnosed with anything, but I am also young and have been having trouble getting pregnant. I understand completely about wondering WHY this is happening to you and what have you done wrong. A week after I lost my baby last January, my twin sister got pregnant after trying for just a month. Seven months later, I am still asking myself why this is going on and wondering why it is so unfair. In your case, have you talked to a counselor? I'm a huge advocate for finding someone you can talk to- a fertility counselor would be amazing. Not only are they more than happy to listen to you cry and be sad, they are also able to help you educate yourself about your options. I'm not really familiar with your diagnosis. Are you able to carry a baby yourself? Does it prevent you from producing eggs? Adoption is always an option, but there is also using a surrogate mother and egg donation. My prayers are with you that you can find an option that will make you happy.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and replying.
I'm also sorry to hear that you're also having trouble conceiving and for your loss. Please share some of your story if you feel comfortable.
I haven't spoken with a counselor yet. I looked into it and found one that specializes in infertility but they charge like $100/session and right now my goal is to put all my extra $ towards finances so that we can be prepared for the financial part of IVF or adoption.
I am able to carry a baby but I am no longer producing eggs to be able to conceive on my own. I'm very grateful that I can still carry. I'm in the perimenopausal stage, meaning I am starting to experience some symptoms of menopause but haven't gone thru it yet. I never thought I would have to worry about menopause at 25 yrs old! I guess I took for granted that I would be able to have a baby when I wanted to, I never once imagined I would struggle with these issues. I don't like to talk about it with many people because I feel ashamed. I find myself being bitter to people who aren't "exceptional" parents because they don't cherish what they have and I can't have.
I'm glad to find someone that can relate to my situation because sometimes I feel like even though everyone is so understanding and supportive, they don't really know what I'm going thru.
I know I need to speak to someone to get all of this out but it's a big step, I guess I'm just afraid of taking that leap, being a part of this support group is my first step. Thanks for listening....and you'll be in my prayers as well. :)

Daisy,
When I went to counseling, it was through a free program at my work as part of my medical benefits- that might be worth checking out. I totally agree, paying out of pocket for counselors is too expensive and you should save your money for your baby options. I understand what you mean about parents who aren't exceptional... I'm a teacher, so I see bad parenting every day, and the same thought always crosses my mind: how come THEY can have kids but I can't right now? My doctor seems to think everything will be fine and that we can conceive, but it's just taking longer than we want it to. The hardest thing for me right now is seeing my sister go through all these awesome stages in her pregnancy. I am elated for her, but jealous at the same time. I will always be supportive of her because her baby is my niece and I want to be as involved as possible. BUT sometimes I just can't help myself and I get emotional and start crying. Since my miscarriage, my emotions have been a roller coaster! I had lost 30 lbs before I got pregnant, and I've gained about 20 of it back because I'm a definite emotional eater. But, enough about me...
I'm really glad to hear that you can still carry a baby- that is huge! How expensive is egg donation, if you don't mind me asking? Do you have medical insurance that will cover any expenses?

Liz

Hello Daisy,
I am sorry to hear about your POF diagnosis. It is a hard one to deal with. The International Premature Ovarian Failure Assoc. has 25 support groups around the country. Please email me at [email protected] if you'd like more information.
Take good care.

This blog is good. It might help. It's written by a counselor who is going through infertility treatment for others like her. If you want, check it out. http://thatonebasket.wordpress.com/

Liz,
Thanks for the support. The Dr. I saw gave me a quote of $26,000. for IVF that's with having my own egg donor. (Which I'm hoping is the case, I'd like my cousin to be the donor but haven't had the guts to ask her yet) Insurance won't cover hardly anything with infertility. Very frustrating.

Like you, I'm also an emotional eater but right now, I'm trying really hard to keep the weight down so that I can be as healthy as I can for my future baby. It's important to me but even more important for that reason.

I agree there is a bit of jealousy that happens when you see other pregnant people or for example: My sister in law is on baby #2 and never intended to have either baby, she didn't want children and yet she continues to get pregnant. She is a great mom now, but when she found out she was pregnant with #2 she cried and complained. I felt like I couldn't be around her because it made me soo mad.

As a teacher, I'm sure you experience lots of this. I'm sorry it's taking so long but how awesome that your Dr. is expecting everything to work out good for you. I know it's hard but even when everything seems to be going wrong, we have to stay strong and positive because things could always be worse. You will be in my prayers :)

Thank you everyone else for your input and information, it really is appreciated. :)

Is anyone else out there dealing with Premature Ovarian Failure that wants to talk and share your story?

Thanks :)

Hi, my name is Tosha and I'm 27. I was diagnosed with POF about 2 1/2 years ago. I have to admit it’s been really hard. I have tried so hard to focus on other things in my life but it is still hard to deal with. There are days when I feel less of a woman if that makes any sense. I love my family and I know they love me but it’s hard for them to be supportive because they can't understand what I'm growing through. The biggest thing for me is finding a way to cope. If anyone has some advice I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks

HI DAISY MY NAME IS CATHY I WAS diagnosed WITH PREMATURE OVARIAN FAILURE AT AGE 23 ALSO I UNDERSTAND HOW U FEEL CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY I FEEL IM HERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED A FRIEND OR ADVICE .....

O my goodness you poor thing, i thought my situation was rough. You are doing great look at your other options. There are plenty of kids need to be adopted you can even look into fostering with the intent of adopting. My husband and i looked into.that but due to my other health issues that was an option for us. You can go the route of straight up adoption or maybe you have a friend or family member willing to donate an egg from what i have been told that helps keep the costs down. You have choices and by not jusy giving up but looking into your choices that shows you are stronger then your issue and willing to fight back. Dont blame yourself for what is going on it happens and what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger