"Sometimes it's easy to see progress in recovery... There are the big, blunt, obvious changes: weight loss halts; weight restoration completes; clothing sizes stabilize; calorie counting ceases, or at least eases up. Then there are smaller, subtler, gentler changes: I find myself trusting others more; taking greater risks; opening up to people; making many new friendships and connections with fellow humans. And then there are also the whispers of progress that fill in the rest of life; hints of movement so slight, it's difficult to see direction, and impossible to predict destination.
I am tired this evening. I skipped my kickboxing class, which in itself, might smack of progress. In the past I would have forced myself to workout, without pausing to consider my own desire or energy..."
For the rest of this recent blog entry, please check the link below. :)
Love your new blog Jen. You are a great writer and express yourself in such a unique, refreshing, truthful way. I can relate to a lot of where you are at. Lots of things in life are falling into place, yet still drawn to these dark shadows. The allure of life is so much brighter though, isn't it?
Thank you for continuing to share your story, my friend
It's a strange stage, isn't it? ...It's not always easy to resist... As much as I'm able to self-talk and KNOW that what I'm eating is NOT too much, I found myself in a familiar place on Monday, terribly triggered by co-workers' comments about my blueberries... ??? I ate them anyway, knowing that I was NOT eating too much, but then dinner was HARD...
Are you a Harry Potter fan? I am! ♥ I picture my ED like the dementors... It's hard to escape them... Their icy fingers reach out, grasping at all happiness they can reach, sucking it dry... The cold darkness is NOT what we want... And yet, while IN despair, it's hard to imagine tackling that climb to the summit... Possible though it is, and as rewarding as we know it to be...
I have not succumbed. :) Just... Feeling some of those fingers reaching in my direction... :0/ I am vigilant. ;0)