So anyone have advice on not punishing oneself or letting ED punish oneself after having a symptom free day? Yesterday i did well with food and did not restrict. Now today i could not make myself even finish a small lunch after working out for an hour. I a dedicated to recovery, but i feel so stuck on the one day i take a step forward and the next day i take two steps back. I even had purge impulses after half my planned lunch, i have not purged in 15 years. I would be grateful for any words of wisdom.
Thank you all!
Hello there! The path to recovery is not always a smooth and straight one, there may be bumps along the way, but it's all about powering through those moments just like you did today. Please stay strong and don't look at any of this as a set-back, but just as part of the process. Each day will slowly get better and better, easier and easier. Please keep sharing with us.
M...I can relate to how hard it is to allow yourself to do things differently, and NOT in accordance to the eating disorder. You have done things a certain way for a long time, and for your own specific reasons, those things were 'right' or 'good'. So it makes sense that doing something different would feel 'bad', and not 'OK'. If you can think of your food/eating recovery plan as your 'prescription', as in your medicine for this health issue, maybe you can commit yourself to taking YOUR dose of medicine as you need to. You wouldn't take only half of your heart medication if you had a heart problem, or you wouldn't take only half of a chemo treatment if you had cancer, would you? Not likely!
It's truly OK to do something good for yourself, and that too can feel 'wrong'.
Hang in there. The more days you do it differently, the less foreign it will feel. Take care..Jan ♥
Thank you both. I have lived with juvenile insulin dependent diabetes since i was 7 and i am a perfectionist so i have never not tested my blood sugar or missed my insulin, in fact i have an insulin pump and take this all very seriously. The analogy of looking at a reasonable. Meal plan as a rx for health is helpful for me, although compacted by the mixed up messages i was given as a young child about food and my disease process.
Thank you, myhsthe
I am so happy to hear that you take such good care of yourself in terms of your diabetes and take it so seriously, because I know people who don't. As well, I am glad that the meal plan is helpful and working for you. Please let us know how things are progressing for you.
I have had a good weekend with my mel plan. I am still feeling very anxious about eating more regular meals because of body image backlash, ironically all of my support people are not being supportive due to their own issues this weekend and that is triggering a great deal of anxiety and panic in me. I want positive support when i amm working so hard and i am d and frustrated that their is none forthcoming at the moment i will continue to do my recovery work for myself, because i am the only one who can heal me.
I agree that you are truly the only one who can heal you, and I know that you are on such a strong path and will get through this so successfully. How was the rest of your weekend and how are you feeling today?