Really struggling. My marriage is very troubled and our sex

Really struggling. My marriage is very troubled and our sex life is not the best..... I know that is not the most important thing, but physical touch is my primary love language, for sure... I have always had very sexual relationships, so when that aspect of the relationship starts to fade, it kind of all goes off the rails for me.

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That’s certainly hard. Do you have any friends who supports you? To me, that is the first question. I have found it too hard to do alone.

@Weigheddown I do not. I have never spoken with anyone outside of this forum about a sex addiction. I am not 100% sure I would even say I have an addiction, although I could be fooling myself.

I read a book called “out of the shadows” and I checked off quite a few boxes on the list of things that could mean that you have a problem.

Just an observation, and I could be misunderstanding you, but you seem to contradict yourself by saying the best sex life is not the most important thing in a relationship while admitting it's what's causing your relationship to fail. You wrote that your relationships have always been very sexual so just wondering if you are somehow defining a good relationship by your partner's sexual performance, or lack thereof, as opposed to other reasons. If so, I would think any intimate relationship would fail eventually, especially as we all get older and do not perform sexually as we did in the past.

@JayGuy76 I’m not contradicting myself at all. That is my exact problem. I know that sex isn’t the most important part of a relationship. That knowledge does not eradicate my unhealthy attachment to sex.

I also know that because of my addiction, when the sexual aspect is struggling, I have a hard time functioning in the relationship, and I start being tempted by outside opportunities.

I also didn’t say the sex is causing it to fail…but when the sexual aspect is faltering, I start to behave with quite a bit of anxiety, which puts pressure on my wife, and only makes things worse.