Really want to slice up my arms. Everyone thinks I have it all together but everything is falling apart around me. What them to see that I really am not okay. Will keep trying to fight it the best I can but the urge hasj been off and on for the last eight or so hours.
Im in same boat. Boundaries, self care, and anyone you can vent to is my best remedy. You'd be surprised how many people care when youre in a crisis
@J9mama Thank you for your reply. I can’t turn to anyone in real life right now. Either they have their own problems or they just care. It is hard when you are trying to take care of yourself and everyone else around you. Sometimes it just feels like the walls are closing in and the walls all have those really long sharp spikes like in the movies.
Rather than cutting yourself, try writing on yourself. Gel pens work great. I used a white one. Write words, draw repetitive designs, pictures, or just "cuts". Eventually I ended up getting a white tattoo on my wrist. It says hope. When I feel bad I look at it and remember there is always hope. You say you want people to see, then use vibrant colors in areas they will see (your hands for example), they will ask you about it. Could be a good ice breaker. As far as talking to people in the real world, I know what you mean, but I am also very real. ;) Keep your head up. You are heading in the right direction already because you are asking for help.
@thatstrangegirlfromyourdreams I have tried almost every technique in the book to distract myself. Been a self injurer for most of my life and kept it hidden most of that time. My family didn’t know until I was in college and only a few of my friends knew in high school. Drawing on my skin does help sometimes but there are times I just need to feel the pain.