Really wish I had one of my razors right now. I so badly want to cut.
Sammy, I am here, let's talk!!
Don't do it. It sucks feeling alone and worthless.. thinking that taking that blade to your skin is the only way out... but it's not. Just breathe.. i mean it. Sit down.. and take a big deep breathe. Think of all the people you'd hurt by doing that to yourself.. not to mention your family. I'm here for you.
I am currently at a safe house that is sponsored by the County. I came here last night because I am coming out about my self harm. I stabbed myself with a knife back in 2003 and said that a stranger had done it. Just recently I again cut on myself with a knife and it wouldn't stop bleeding, so I had to go to the emergency room. With these two instances, I am now thinking that this is a prelude to committing suicide. It doesn't hurt while I am cutting, and I enjoy watching the wound bleed and nurturing it back to health. Any suggestions to assist me in at least lessening the glorious events that accompany this behavior? I was recently told that my diagnosis is BPD, and all this behavior that I have now makes sense. How do I tame a behavior within a diagnosis?