Hello! I am a recently outed shopaholic. My husband found out last night that I have racked up a massive amount of credit card debt and have been hiding and lying about it for several years. I am so sorry and ashamed. I was diagnosed with ADHD a year and a half ago. I know it is a contributing reason, but not an excuse that makes it ok.
We are staying together at least in the house until the kids are grown. He is such a good man and I have ruined it. I have broken his heart, my heart, my parent’s heart and my in-laws hearts. I don’t know what I am looking for out of this. Maybe just some hope that recovery and peace is possible.
2 Hearts
Recovery is possible. I know some people who have done it through Debtor’s Anonymous. They have entered the program with exceedingly high amounts of debt, paid it off and now live within their means. I suggest that you listen in to one of their meetings. There are Zoom meetings every day of the week, at all hours of the day, so you are bound to find one that works for you. You don’t have to say a thing - just listen in. The long-timers will inspire you and the newbies will let you know that you are far from alone. I’m in DA and am making progress. I’ve developed a spending plan which allows me to pay off my debt, pay my bills, and still have some money left over for things like entertainment and a small clothing budget. I don’t make a lot of money, but I am able to make ends meet, pay off my debt, and still shop, but do it mindfully. I check my spending plan to see how much I have to spend and then I enjoy myself spending it. If there’s no money left in a given category, I wait until next month to make that purchase. Or I save up over a few months to afford something I’d really like. It makes all the difference in the world. There are two books that I can recommend, too. One is “To Buy or Not to Buy” by April Benson. She was a pioneer in the field of overshopping. The other book is “How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt and Live Prosperously” by Jerrold Mundis. Both excellent books - highly readable - that address the problems you’re struggling with. I have heard that there may be an increased tendency towards overshopping for those with ADHD. Again, you’re not alone. But I really urge you to read these books and give DA a try. I think you’ll be very, very glad that you did! Best of luck to you!
1 Heart
Thank you so very much. I will take ALL of this to heart.