Recovery?

Recovery from an eating disorder is probably the most challenging thing I have ever done. I am out of treatment, yes, am I full recovered? Well apparently not. I had my first slip tonight :( I am humiliated, ashamed, and frustrated. It is my first slip since I have been out of treatment, and I did not intend to have ANY slips. I guess I am just going to do a few things. I will NOT fall apart because I had a mess up. I plan on making up the calories in my night snack. I will meal plan for tomorrow and follow everything. Gaaaahhhhh why does this have to happen? Ugh. It did. And the difference is that I will move forward and continue to move forward. I don't have to let this one little slip bring me down, even though it is a big deal and needs to be addressed. I will tell my therapist and talk about what happened, and learn from it. I have lots of things to be happy about, I have done very well the past three weeks, at least I think I have. No symptoms, I have been following my meal plan and doing food challenges. I was sick for a few days, but I stuck to my meal plan anyway, which is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I still feel strong and ready to move forward. This reminds me that I DONT want to be sick!!!
Whenever I want to slip, I remind myself that I can always go back to my eating disorder - that is easy for me. But I have the chance now to be healthy, and I will be healthy for as long as I can, and I plan on being healthy forever.
Thanks for allowing me to process :)
CC

Wow CC, that was amazing to read! No one says that after recovery things will be perfect, I think expecting yourself to never slip up is silly; you are human!! The important thing here is that you quickly identified that and have found a way to correct it (by making up for it in ur nite snack). That is a good thing, you should be very proud of how far you have come <3

Great job recognizing that slipping is not a reason to stop moving forward. It doesn't ruin anything at all. I can tell you are frustrated and anxious about it, but like Gina said, you can't expect to be perfect in anything that you do. This is no different. Hopefully you were able to stick to your fix-it plan by making up calories in your night snack. However, tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start to be strong and healthy like you know you can. Beat wishes~ KLB

Thank you for your encouragement! I could be SUPER negative right now but I am willing to move on and move forward.
Thanks :) and have a good night
CC

CC you freakin rock! period no ifs ands or buts!!!!! i was so just gonna email you ---but i didnt get to it but will shortly...

i know slips are hard--CC i admit --i had one too this past week. i feel so ashamed ... my fiancee got soooo mad! but i told him i didnt mean to --i didnt set out to do it--it just happened! but i caught myself and i can change it around! and i have and am eating very well again! my fiancee is worried but im NOT. i know very well what i have to do and even know what triggered me. it was this movie with this scarily thin actress.. i dont know why that influneced me but it did. this is so why i stay away form movies/t.v. in general. and i just know that actress has health problems being skinny like that so i wonder why it influenced me anyways??? but anyway, it happened and i feel so bad..but the point is here-----that we cant change the past but we can change the future!!!! we can learn from our mistakes! we can prepare ourselves in the future to help ourselves in a similiar situation!!!!
i feel bad about it CC---but ive come to terms with it. we know what happened CC there is no need to beat ourselves up. we cant change what happened, but we can learn from our mistakes...

lets not beat ourselves up.....and move on--girl you are doing sooooooo well!

and i love ya!!!!

hugz

maureen

THank you Maureen!
You are so sweet and amazing :) I'm sorry you also slipped, but I am so happy that you are back on your feet!! I suppose these things happen and the fact that we are both dealing so well is a great step in our recoveries!
Love you :)
CC

we can so learn from our slips and make it to be stronger in our recovery.....

we can actually be better AFTER our slip if we address the problem and fix it....

thanks hon!!!!!!!!

love
maureen

CC: You have come so AMAZINGLY far in your recovery. And slips are common as we know but the way you are thinking and processing this shows a totally mature and emotionally stable way of handling it.
I am sooooo proud of you girl. Saw some pics of you on FB and you are gorgeous!!!

Hey CC,
reading your post only confirms what i wrote down for myself: that although recovery is ridiculously hard it is absolutely possible! thanks you so much for enforcing this thought!

i think even though you slipped it definitely doesn't mean ED got stronger again because you beat it right back by recognizing what you need to do now. and you're already on it :-) try to thnk that this literally only makes you stronger!!

well done, lady, and thanks for the hope.

love
maedi

I am so glad I can give you home maedi :) Being in recovery is awesome because I feel better, but I am even more glad to be in recovery because I can help others!!
Keep on working! Sending love <3
CC