Relationship Insecurities

I've been in a situation where my significant other was incredibly insecure in our relationship and it ended up causing the demise of our relationship. No matter how many times I would tell him that I liked him and only him, it didn't seem to matter. So, I found this article to be incredibly helpful;

"What does insecurity in relationships stem from? Past experiences, most likely. How does insecurity manifest itself? It does so through jealousy, doubt and second-guessing. It also does so through mistrust, when no matter what your partner tells you, you find yourself questioning him or her, trying to catch him or her in a lie. If you are in a committed relationship with a partner, the insecurity issues manifesting themselves on a regular basis can damage and even ruin a potentiality of continuing this relationship. No one can be with a mistrusting person for too long, because no matter what is said or done - the questions and the self-proclaimed search for the "truth" may never stop.

Many people feel insecure and nervous when they are meeting someone new for the first time, or just starting a new relationship. This is perfectly normal. At the beginning stages of the dating game, insecurity is a natural part of the process of getting to know a new person. This insecurity may come from being afraid to reveal too much too soon, or from not being able to live up to the seemingly high standards of the other party. This insecurity, if a new relationship has any chance of surviving it on a long-term basis, is a passing feeling, as when two people begin to get to know each other more, they start feeling more at ease and more trusting of one another...."
        Source: Helium

So how does one that has been fooled in the past and cheated on get rid of that insecurity baggage?

Hi Cliff Dweller! It's really not easy to completely let go of that deceit and pain. I was deceived in my last relationship and it's a very hard thing to accept. Though, I know that not everyone is like that person. I think the key is to allow yourself to heal and to proceed with caution moving forward. My girlfriends and I all have a pact that we will take things super slowly with men going forward and really get to know them first as friends, then possibly move into romantic relationships. I really want to know a man and his character before allowing myself to get involved romantically.

It's all about going into it with a combination of open eyes, open mind and open heart....but they need to earn the open heart :-)

You are completely right, And are such an inspirational person. :)

Thanks for posting the article said alot of material which makes good sense.

puppydoglvr, have you ever read up on attachment theory? I just posted on it a few minutes ago. it's very interesting and sheds some light on why some folks develop insecure attachment styles in relationships.

How interesting, thank you so much for sharing. I will definitely take a look at the link.