This quote was shared with me earlier this week:
"Relationships are such a challenge because life pulls us in opposite directions at the same time.
Our personality feels the need to be unique and special and so our focus lies on how we are different from others.
Differences hold the potential to create conflict. (ouch)
At the same time, our souls live through connection with others. We are challenged to rise above our personal preferences to discover how we and the other are the same.
Our overall need lies in balancing these two tendencies."
I an relate strongly to this. It also brings up the question for me (and you)....how narrow is your life?
What has kept you hidden and afraid to step out into the world of real relationships, and how can you change that?
For me, taking the risk to be rejected (which rarely, if ever happened), and to realize that others' reactions were very seldom truly about me.
I'd love to hear your thoughts....Jan ♥
First thought? Of COURSE you were rarely, if ever, rejected! Some of us just aren't as loveable! ♥
Ahhh... But really? I'm reminded of my childhood development class... Babies are born with preferences. As they grow, they continue to stretch and try to find what is "unique" about them. I remember being in early elementary school and hearing kids talk about their "favorite colors". Ehhh??? I had never thought about it!! LOL! I went through a series... I quizzed my parents. My dad's answer was red. My mom's was blue, and she even told the story of the Christmas when she convinced her parents to get a BLUE flocked Christmas tree!!! Hahahaha! ♥ My kindergarten "All About Me" page, recorded by my mom, lists my favorite color as "Shiny Black". My mom was mortified! Ha! I just thought my "shiny black tap shoes" were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen! ♥
But as kids mature... As they enter puberty in particular, something changes... Suddenly it's not "cool" to be different. It's dangerous even. Admitting to shopping in K-Mart? Social suicide. Loving John Denver?? :) Yeah... I learned to be very careful about who I shared THAT information with! ;0)
Rejection is a big, scary thing. Especially when it has happened to someone repeatedly in the worst, most personal way... It's a hard thing to get over.
Love you, friend! ♥
Jen
Hey,
I can relate to this topic and I am actually working on subtracting part of myself from relationships. Because when I get involved in all relationship, friends, family, boyfs, i get so involved....not physically now, I'm not there badering them all the time. But if they are worried about something I worry to the same degree, and if they are stressed, I stress the same as them and if I had to say the word "No" to any of them, it would cause such an amount of guilt I could barely handle it.
My therapist tells me, I carry an awful amount of guilt, and I do, I try to imagine what that person is feeling too, instead of listening to myself I put other people miles ahead of myself. So first I have to work on building a wall to some degree, not huge, but just be more logical, i can't feel what other people are feeling. And make sure that it is a two way street.
On the idea of rejection. Initial rejection no, it never happens that much. But i do have a fear of getting involved with someone and having another "guilt" relationship with them. As in they take things out on me, and i don't say anything and make excuses for them, so it's this continous kick in the teeth. I take responsiblity for their actions, and that has to be worked on before I delve into any new relationships.
But as for you, I really can't imagine anyone rejecting you. But if you are coming from somewhere that you were rejected, it's best to heal yourself before you go put more of yourself into a two way street. And the healing is say faster if you do it alone, then dragging other people along.
But if you feel confident to enter a relationship but have a fear of initial rejection the only thing I can recommend is dive in...it's the best medicine.
Love to you all
MG x