REM sleep behavior disorder (RBD)

Dreaming of being murdered again, I awoke in the night attacking the bed rail. I’m reliably told that I violently shake and thrash about all night every night; often shouting profanities, sometimes screaming in terror so loud I wake myself up. Anyone sleeping with me risks being inadvertently hit in the face.
I’ve read that such sleep disturbance is correlated (97%) with later development of Parkinson’s, Lewey Body Dementia, or MSA.

We finally got our Support Someone button working so we can see unanswered posts! We are so sorry your post fell through the cracks so to speak. How are you? What is going on with your wife? Maybe all the stress you deal with is causing your nightmares? -SG

I spent some time with her terminally ill daughter last week; “You know, Mom’s really angry with you; really angry.” Angry because I don’t implicitly believe her prima facie. Angry because I don’t do anything to protect her from the ultrasonic/microwave/energy weapons, EMFs, “vibrational frequencies”, poison gas machines, satellite dishes, moonlight and ray guns; she can explicitly verbalize that (at length in great detail) without the slightest hint of irony. I’ve a MSW and took a class in CBT for family members dealing with psychosis (obviously, I suck at it), and I’ve got no reply to her indictments; guilty as charged, I guess.
She also confirms that she’s trying to leave, inviting herself to various family for extended stays; invitations which have been consistently and firmly declined by everyone. She’s with me not out of love, but because she has no other option. ‘Any port in a storm’ I suppose. She’s got a hearing with SSDI coming up in two weeks. Perhaps that will provide her with enough of a subsistence income to develop some new alternative arrangements; hopefully somewhere where she’ll finally feel safe. Trouble is; wherever you go, there you are. The only Zen (or psychosis) you find on the mountain top it that which you brought with you.
She asked what her prognosis is, and what I see in the future. I only look forward to her next medical appointment; trying to look to our future is like staring into a black hole; a terrifying abyss devoid of light. Better to just focus on getting through the week.

0f the few dreams I remember (small blessings), they’re now horror-show nightmares, apropos to nothing; the recurrent classical PTSD nightmares seem to have subsided. 10 mg melatonin HS seems to suppress the yelling, cursing and screaming which wakes her up in the night; as we don’t sleep together, the constant thrashing about might be continuing quietly; no way of knowing. I haven’t shaken myself awake in a while. Yesterday, my cardiologist said my chest pain is stress induced, not cardiac. Good news.
She’s being uncharacteristically nice to me these past several days. Again, counting small blessings. Still holding my breath. I never know when my next step will trigger an ambush or IED.
Wishing everyone a blessed Solstice.

This is so much and we continue to hope that you will find peace, that she will be treated well in a long term care facility and that they will be able to get her medicated and comfortable both mentally and physically. May this all happen soon!