Risk Taking

Hi Wonderful Women :-)
I have been thinking about something important and I'm hoping some of you will share your experiences on the matter.

My question to you all is: What has been the biggest risk you have taken in your recovery?
I know choosing to recover is a huge step but I am asking more about the recovery process. Something that might not even be food related.

For me, it was taking the risk to stop obsessing over what other people think about me and my actions. I am overjoyed to now know that no one cares. And I don't mean that in a sarcastic way at all, I really can see now that everyone is so busy thinking about themselves that they really don't care if I take second helpings, make a joke that isn't funny, wear the same pair of jeans 2 days in a row, you get the idea. Its freeing to just think about doing what makes me feel good and happy. I was terrified to start acting differently though because I thought I would feel shame in being myself, like I wouldn't live up to other people's standards. I don't live up to ED's standards at all but now I'm pretty proud of that too!

Okay please share your risk! I can't wait to read these :-)

brita--

wow , interesting...

i would one--have to agree with you---not living to please others or live up to their standards..

it is so freeing to say to the world --i dont care what you think about me! im me and if you dont like it--why the heck should i care?
and to know that i dont have to be a certain size or else i wont be attractive or happy... i dont care what they think is right--but care what is right for me.
it is a little hard to see magaiznes though that taut being small sizes and such but i know they are just out to make us feel bad so we can spend on the diet industry...
i dont have to be a certain size---i can be a healthy me at MY SIZE.

and yes people really are too busy to notice if i gained a little weight--what are they really gonna do--weigh me??? that would be a little craaaazy! and if they did notice--what kinda weirdo would that person be?

another thing that helped me in recovery-which i dont know if it would be a risk really --but was honoring my health and bodily needs and not hurting myself and organs through starving/overexcercise....

another risk would be --letting me be myself and not trying to be someone else and to appreciate who we are and not compare. i do catch myself comparing--like last night there were these thin women and i felt bad, but then i reminded myself of who i was and not to do that anymore. it only leads to heartache. plus there can be no other me...why should i look and want to be someone else?

another risk------confronting weight gain!!!!!!! confronting that FEAR! and you know what? ive noticed something----i dont really fear weight that much anymore! i thought i did , but realized it wasnt really that i was fearing but something else. when i did gain weight ---it was like----facing a fear . and i conquered it. the next day when i was heavier---the world didnt stop, people still loved me for who i was, and i deal with it. albeit hard, i faced and lived through weight gain even if it was more than i like. and heck the body fluctuates so much anyway--so it goes back into where it needs to be anyway within time... weight gain---doesnt affect me as much. maybe a large gain does--yes it does --but i get through it. it is like the person who has a fear of heights and goes to the tallest building---and stands there---and overcomes the fear. the best way to fight the fear of weight gain is---TO GAIN weight and realize----it is OK.

thanks brita,

im sure there is more i can share , but it think this is good for now, thanks!

love
maureen

Maureen this is awesome. I too had a huge fear of weight gain. It had to happen though. I was killing myself at a smaller size! You are totally right that the risk was worth it, nothing changed when I gained weight. Its amazing to me now how much of an emphasis our country puts on weight's relationship to our happiness. I would have been unhappy at absolutely any size, the whole point of recovery for me is learning to be myself and accept it. I wish the media would stop recommending diets and exercise programs, its getting annoying now!

Thanks for being so honest, thats exaclty what I was going for :-)

brita---yes i too was killing myself for a smaller size...and --how exactly does that equate happiness( the the media so falsley states???)

to face a fear you really do have to face it head on. i would say to those afraid of weight gian--gain weight! im sure all of you are like--huh? but it is amazing how when you are afraid of something and do it anyway, you overcome the fear... no the world does not stop turning...LOL...

yes brita the media ---LOL can go to heck. HA. i hate the media they are a bunch of liars...i decided (another risk i took) was to IGNORE the media! no looking at magazines and limited T.V. ok while this worked for me --im not sure if others can do that. i still watch t.v. but not so much. brita the world is FREAKIN SHALLOW. we have to be better than that and not give in to the shallow shallow veiws of the world. honestly they make me sick. all they are is like abusive parents saying we are no good --ever! all they want is our money!!!! so scew the media! after i have been not watching much t.v. and or magazines i feel much much better and FREE! and if i do see something i ignore it! the world is quite messed up in their view!!!!

the media can go starve themselves and talk about PRADA this and PRADA that--i dont care..cause i wont be like that.

thanks brita!

love
maureen

Wow Maureen you are awesome!
Has your therapist asked you to take any risks that you weren't willing to take? The idea of that freaks me out a little bit but I have to be willing to do the work to get the reward!

thanks so much and you are awesome!!!!!

hmmm my therapist asks me each week to do an assignment---something i can help myself with.. since a lot of it has to do with undoing my past abuse--it is hard and painful...

she asked me the other day if i could 'bury mom mother' . and while i know this may sound harsh to some, since mine was so mean to me and degrading--i think she meant that i have to bury her voice... that bad voice... i thought about that and think i should bury that part of her and keep the good of her... which is kinda hard....

oh oh--and she asks me to stop deflecting compliments! like is someone says im beautiful i say--im not im fat and ugly. i do this all the time to my fiancee. he says i look great and i say im a big fat cow. so i have to stop doing that and listen and take in compliments and beleive them. and to stop making fun of myself.

for me---i started adding unsafe foods to my meals. like all this week i didnt really obsess if the food was 100% healthy. i ate what i like. while i still think it is good to eat healthy---it is nice to not be so strict with safe foods all the time... i like going outside the box. talk about a risk! im still freakin out on that one! ha, but im happier--heck i got organic cookies and healthy fudge pops----in my frige/cabinent...and do you think id ever have anythign resemble a cookie/ popscicle before? heck no! i like that. and my fiancee had some pizza and chocoalte mouse----the other night and while i didnt eat all of it--(it would hurt my tummy) i ate some and quite a few bites of the cake!LOL!!! and i liked it...
yeah thats a risk and a half!! ha! but i hate being bored with my safe safe foods.

the reward is living and filling your tastebuds with new and exciting things and being---content and happy with that!

love
maureen

Maureen: I know I cant' be on here much these days, but I did want to say how MUCH change I am hearing in your words since you started therapy. Big change my friend and it is so wonderful to see.
Love to you!!!

therapy is great and so IS THIS SITE!!! LOL

thanks so much, i do feel different , better although i still fight with ED. but you know HE has been losing a lot lately??? Ha,

love
maureen

Dating!! RISK!! ;0)

dating sure is a risk!!! HA!

love
maureen

I dont know if this counts....but actually reaching out and asking for help.

this is the biggest risk of all!!! reaching out…

love
maureen

Thanks for this Britta! My recovery required me to take risks and make decisions that I never believed I could take. The biggest? Oh my...so many! First of all, I went into my final treatment KNOWING that something had to be different or I would die...period. I was prepared to examine things in a different way.
I divorced my husband of 29 years...HUGE risk...I had never been on my own, nor been well enough to take care of myself...more risks. I moved away from the only life I had even know...325 miles...all my family and friends to a new city and state where I knew basically no one but my therapist. I put myself out there....took the risk of being rejected....and began to develop open and emotionally honest relationships with people...SCARY!!
I bought a house...EEEK!! I began to set boundaries with people, for myself, and was shocked to find that people respected me for it!
I began to say 'no' in order to take care of myself.
And I allowed myself to be human, imperfect, and not apologize for it!
Jan ♥

i really am enjoying this post
lets see some things i've risked - definitely gaining weight and dealing with what i thought was going to be a huge gain and people shaking their heads and saying "oh poor browngirl she was doing so well"
you know what? not one person has done that not one and i have gained and i get told almost weekly how nice i look
another thing ive risked is being okay with using my voice. i say when i'm scared, when i'm hungry, when i'm tired, when i'm in need of hugging from my wonderful partner, when i need my daughter to do my dishes, when i need to pet my dog
clothes the other risk is clothes. i hated dealing with my weight gain and not fitting in my clothes. my cure to that was to get more clothes. just as cute lovely wonderful clothes that fit on my body and flatter me
the one thing i haven't done that my therapist has asked me to is the write a letter to my dad. he was a great dad but not as educated, or financially secure as my mom. i think (i don't remember much about my childhood) and she asked me to write a letter to him and introduce myself and ask for his forgiveness i don't want to. maybe later but not now.
amazing to think how many risks and how much ive grown

Thank you all for being so honest! Its an amazing feeling to know that other people have faced the same risks as me. You are all so insiprational :-)