It's the holidays. I suffer from depression, bipolar, anxiety. I am so depressed lately. I am taking my meds. I take 6 different medications. I just cant get into a good mood. I am tired and stressed out. I'm in school and I've falling behind. I dread being around family tomorrow. It's thanksgiving tomorrow and I think when it my turn to say what I am thankful for I may break into tears. My boyfriend and I are not getting along. I have to make the holiday's joyful for my daughter. I feel a tremendous amount of pressure to decorate and shop and be happy. I just want to crawl in bed under the covers. I don't have any friends. I tend to isolate. I am even nervous about posting. I'm new here. Thanks for letting me share.
Hi suave, I too am new and I feel your pain. I know exactly what you are feeling right now. It's so hard to be there for the kids to make them happy and make sure they know mommy is having a good time. I know i have 2 and I'm terrified they'll find out mommy is sick. If you break into tears just say they are tears of joy because you now they are for your daughter.
I stay under the covers most days, it's my security, I need my pillows and blankets comforting me. I isolate myself as well and tend not to have any friends because if they get too close they'll think of me strangely because they don't understand. Especially when you tell them thst you are sick. I do relate and maybe I can help a bit, there's more to be said because you can't sum up an illness in a paragraph. But I'm here and you are not alone. Tomm will be ok, just remember to focus on your breathing. I know that the physical and mental part of your body dosent feel well but I'm positive you are thankful to be alive, you reached out.
much love
soulkiss
I know exactly how you feel. I isolated and hide under the covers a lot.
I understand what you are going through. I am a teacher and at the end of the school day, I felt as empty as the school itself. I take several medications which make it a little easier to make it through the day. I am also afraid to let people know how I really feel because I don't want them to think I am crazy or anything like that. But one thing you need to focus on is your daughter, you should be very thankful that you have her and she wants to spend time with you. (I am just assuming, sorry) Take one day at a time. I agree with soulkiss and you need to concentrate and keep saying to yourself that you can do this. Someone once told me that I should try to pretend being happy and eventually, I might become happy. It's worth a try. You can make it! Good luck tomorrow!
Suave depression can be terrible and I am sorry you are finding it so difficult right now. Does your prescriber know how you feel?
I also tend to isolate but with the help of my therapy team I enrolled in a DBT Skills class and am finding it very useful in teaching me new skills for survival. I have a long way to go for sure but now most days I do get up and now have a part time job.
What are you taking at school? Good for you for going.
Stay in touch.
I am in DBT. I have a hard time applying the skills at the very intense moments.
Suave I hope your Thanksgiving worked out :)
Suave I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and also take a lot of medications. I cant relate to people and isolate myself even from my family. I cant maintain relationships either. I just always feel empty and alone. I was never able to have any children so I even feel more alone. At times I feel it was a good thing that I dont have children because I feel so ill especially around the holidays. I just wanted to share this with u. Thanks
I know how you guys all feel. Before i started my medications, and even now, it takes me about 2 hours to coax myself out of bed. The holidays are always a b-tch! Especially meeting your significant others family. I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one having trouble applying the DBT skills to emotionally tough situations. It's really hard not to fall back into the same pattern of just ignoring the situation with something else... It's nice to be able to say things on this website and know that even though my mind is telling me i am completely insane, everyone here also has their mind screaming that at them but is still able to share. It's good to know we aren't alone in our mental prisons.. I am really thankful that you ladies have beautiful children to be able to focus on.
I read your post and thought I could have written it myself. Just about word for word. I'm struggling myself right now and I feel like I'm in the twilight zone... I'm trying to focus past the holidays and looking forward to plans w my girls in the spring and thinking about what their reactions will be Christmas morning. Those little things makes the pain I hold within myself worth it. It's a struggle to pull myself out of bed every morning. I hate it.
"God doesn't give you the people you want. He gives you the people you NEED - to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to make you into the person you were meant to be."
What gets me through this depression sometimes is thinking that someone greater than me has a plan for me to be something bigger, something better, and this is just my climb to the top. Have faith. I am not religious or suggesting you should be.... but faith of somesort goes a long way sometimes. I wish the best for you. You're not alone
Do the very best at what you can even how very simple it may seem. I'm working on the DBT workbook and therapy as well as going to groups. it does help to know there is someone out there whom can support you, even if it is through this site. We all love and care and have the same feelings and emotions and are willing to help whenever you reach out and need a hand to hold onto or a shoulder to cry on. I know how hard it is for all of us. Holidays and family seem so overwhelming right now but we can make it through together as a strong unit of support. Know you are all loved very much and try to keep your head above the water.
"Why do I judge my day by how much I've "accomplished"?"