Meth is so POWERFUL... It is like a fight within u between the Good and the bad ....and often times u are left 2 wonder ..y does the bad Prevail????If you are fighting it and you feel like YOU are winnin it"METH" will come 2 you in ur dreams ...it will just terroize u like it is longong 4 ur soul...sumtimes I di want 2 say "F**k Y*O!!!!WOR;D" but I cant do it ...cuz its not so easy 2 give up but it does have so ,much control over me and NOONE AROUND me understands it ...but I am so glad they dont because I would not wish the feeling that the devil "METH' has overcone my body with on anyone....not even my worse enemy.....to all that r struggling I do symathazize with u because I do know how hard it is ..Every day is just each day I HAVE FAILED 2NITE but i am trying and I do praise myself 4 that ....I just feel that although sum people may not understand me God does understand,,and even though he knows I DO KNOW that I have brought on my own pain ...I am SORRY 4 it but it just wont go away..One day I hope it will and I hope I can live a Happy or at least sumwat happy life but the harder I try the more he "the devil" seeks after me...will it ever end??????
my boy!! Please don't beat yourself up. You have done so wel,l as we talked about last night. If you beat you up and think so negative....whos gonna laugh at satan when we overcome this ****ing demon. progress not perfection. And from a daily deal to where you have come is far from failure my friend. Rome wasn't built in a day. Keep your head up. I am way proud of you.
Alot that i care for in my life dont understand the grasp that this monster has on me either. I am in total agreement that i am glad that they don't know the true agony that we are facing. I try to remind myself that i brought this demon into my world and i will see him the **** out too. I am sorry you are hurting. However a failure you are not. Back to the grind....i am in this battle with you. Satan can bring it!! Here if you need anything.....=)
I totally understand how your’e feeling. I use to feel the same way about 10 yrs. ago. I would be so down on myself, and feel ashamed like I wasn’t as good as other people. It took some soul searching but I finally came to the terms, 1. I am not a bad person, and I don’t have to commit crimes to support my habit. 2. I haven’t been in jail or any trouble in 23 yrs. 3. I have a job and support my own habit. and 4. I am not ready to stop right now. Once I realized these things, and accepted them my life wasn’t so depressing and I let the shame go. Yes I do drugs, and yes I know I have to stop in the near future, but I am not a bad person, just a person with an addiction.
I am not saying my way is the rite way, but it made me feel better as a person to accept and admit the fact that I like doing meth, and I plan on stopping soon. I hope. But all that shame and guilt is just no good. As a matter of fact that can screw up anybodys high having those thoughts, and that boils down to a waste of money, if you know what I mean. I am sorry if I offended anyone. I am just being honest about my feelings. I haven’t told these things to anyone before tonight.
I was doing good and he haunted me in my dreams last night so bad that it just had my mind totally out of it when i woke up this morning ..my dream started with getting me a hit and ended with devastastion ...it was terrible and it made me want it..the meth monster came to me in my dream and that is how that SOB has gotten me the last 2 times I have used,,,it has came to me in a dream when all was going good and after the dream I failed
My girl...forgive me dopamine attack**** ok not funny donnie but please forgive my gender **** up
H3y on satan himself, meth is a monster. I cn totaly relate 2 what u experiencing nd posting. As i too strugle wit the many various onslaughts dat cums wit dis addiction. Wat brought sum reality is we opened da door nd welcumed dat demon in so if we had da power 2 welcum it in we can work on gainin da power 2 get it out. We may nt b able 2 kick it out immediately bt we sure cn nudge closer 2 da door each nd everyday. So one day at a time. Things do get beta nd dreams ar only our unsubconcious venting nd runin rampant within our minds nd dats da insanity of dis disease. As it took ful cntrl of every stitch of our bodies. Nd da battle is often won or lost in da mind. So 4 me jst havin da proper mantra 4 those tough times coupled wit sum breathin nd getin out of my mind seem 2 help. Let m3 no wats hapnin 4 u nd stay strng.
Thanks Fabulous!
We are all in this together and for some reason it helps to know that someone actually understands w/o judging you. It helps me anyway. There are many different poisons in this disease of addiction. This demon here is no joke and they way it will take your life right down to your soul is the scariest part of all.
James 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
.I sent this same post to another member xoxodonniexoxo I understand the Satan theory. I after a week being up saw Satan and his buddies because it was my truth I have been off Meth for 12 years now and it was a killer to kick. Yes I to saw it as a demon I think it shows up as what ever your worst nightmare is. I saw killers, walls open and demons come out, I picked at the worms in my skin till I bleed all over. I saw people following me and saw myself rot in a mirror... it's called sleep deprivation. The brain needs sleep there is a torture ritual used by the military where they do not let you sleep and the brain goes oooouuuutttt. I too thought I was looking into another dimension and who the hell knows, no pun intended, maybe I was but I choose to call the demons I saw sleep deprivation. Satan was my brain shutting down and the dreams are a mixture of Drug dreams which I still get where your doing the drug and nightmares brought on by sleep deprivation psychosis. The hardest thing and most real thing that made giving up meth so hard was first the chemicals coming out of my body. I sweat and shook for three days ... I was saturated with it it was coming out of my skin. But worse then that what makes you want to keep using is you feel depressed and tired all the time. That is because your brain gives off natural certain chemicals that help you feel good like endorphins they are called. The endorphins make you feel happy, joy, love, etc...but when you do meth the brain is overloaded with endorphins so it stops learning how to make endorphins naturally because the meth is giving you that. So when you stop it takes time for the brain to start producing endorphins again so you feel really really tired and really really depressed so you want to use again. So the vicious circle continues. If you want to stop you need to find support groups like Crystal Meth Anonymous and drink lots of orange juice and take multi vitamins and rest rest rest. It takes time but in a few months I started feeling good again. It was the hardest drug to kick because of the depression I went into. But Satan does not knock on my door anymore.
Resist the devil and he will flee from you.......
Yes especially if you allow light in the dark a light lights up a room but the dark can't do the same to the light.
I gave my life to Christ five years ago! I thank God for my salvation! I was in bed with satan for many years slamming meth into my arm. The dirty sex, crime, thoughts, behavior was all killing me. It took years to cast the demons out. It took years of prayer and faith in Christ to give me life again. I now wake up and feel good inside. I go for walks in such graditude that sometimes I come to tears! The places that slamming meth took me where of satan. Satan and hell are real i know that as a fact. The only way to be free from meth is through Christ. When I tried to kill myself by eating 200 to 300 pills of all kinds I had my last visit from the devil. God saved me and has brought me back to life. That night when I was locked down in restraints I was in Hell. I have such a great life now. I live my life for Christ in every way. I have given up all the sin that was death.
hey all.
i wanna share.
Feb 27,2012 i went into residental treatment for substance abuse. my life was so out of control and ridiculous, it was my only option. Im 23 years old, and from the age of 17 till feb 27 2012 i was on a suicide injesting every drug i could get my hands on. crack. powder cocaine, meth, heroine, alchol.. **** u name it i got high off it.
i was at the point where i knew that if i continued doing to do what i was doing i was going to die. and i believe it to this day.
i am happy to tell you all that this feb 27 i will have 1 year clean off extacy, crack, and powder. i relapsed once after i left treatment. smoked some meth with a boyfriend in october, so october will be my 1 year clean date from meth, morphine and heavy drinking.
ITS HARDER TO BE AN ADDICT THEN IT IS TO QUIT. let that simmer.
ITS HARDER TO CONTINUE GETTING HIGH, SPENDING MY MONEY UP, LOOKING CRAZY AS HELL THAN IT IS TO GET HELP. TRUST THE PROCESS AND LIVE THE CLEAN AND SOBER LIFE I KNOW I DESERVE AND CAN ATTAIN.
be strong, ur headed on the right track. but it is life and death sweetie. if i can stop at 23, you can as well.
life is so much better for me not being high, let me tell you!!!
i fell back in love with shoes and looking good. im in school, and im about to have my first child in Sept this year. life is good, and i could not, COULD NOT, have gotten anywhere near where i am today if i was still getting high.
much love and respect, take care of urself!!!!
-raphella