Scared and freaking out

Hi all... I'm a 50 year old male, been single for over 3 years now. A week ago I had a one night stand. Out of loneliness and a lot of beer. You would think I would be smarter than that, I thought I was. Although I did use a condom. A couple days later I started feeling a tingling, maybe a little burning an inch or two down from the head of my wonka. There is some discoloration, redness but I'm not seeing any large bumps. But it's not itching, more of a slight burning sensation. I've been reading up on herpes and looked at some pictures online. It doesn't looking completely like what I've seen but it doesn't look like what I would consider just a rash or rug burn if you will. What happened last week was high risk and I've never seen anything like this so I'm now freaking out. So far there is no pus so I don't think a swab test would pick anything up and I think I have to wait a while before I can get a blood test, I read you should wait at least 3 weeks or so before it would show up. I tried calling around for a dermatologist but no one can get me in until early October, by then I can get a blood test. I have doubts my family doctor would know much at this point and would rather see a specialist. So now I've got myself convinced I have herpes and going out of mind, high anxiety. I've been depressed and suffer from anxiety attacks anyway. I'm wondering how I could cope with this if I'm right, how I could find love again, how to keep this from my family and friends, and I have no one I can talk to. Feeling very alone and scared tonight.

Thank you Tawny, I appreciate the reply, like I said I really don't have anyone to talk to about this. From what I've read it won't show up in the blood test for at least 23 days or so. Right now I can't sleep or eat and I'm having a hard time working. If it gets worse or looks like there might be something the doctor can take a swab test of then I think I'm just going to go to my family doctor, I can usually get an appointment in a day or two with him. In a way I'm embarrassed to see him but I think I can get over that. I just wish I could calm down enough to keep functioning. I've been alone for the most part for the past 3 years and I'm afraid at this point I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I suffer from depression and anxiety already and can't handle the side effects from meds.

I have lived with herpes for over 30 years. I get the occasional outbreak. Sometimes they come frequently & sometimes they do not. I think the outbreaks were more severe & more frequent when I first got the disease, so if you do, in fact, have herpes the outbreaks may become less frequent in time. Usually, just before I get an outbreak I will feel a burning sensation somewhere on my body, usually on an arm or hand or a leg or foot. These do feel just like a rug burn, as you mentioned. The rug burn feeling usually lasts 2 or 3 days, and then the actual outbreak will happen & it almost never occurs in the same place as where the rug burn sensation was. When I was diagnosed with this - a long time ago - the virus was collected with a swab during an outbreak. I wish you luck with learning to cope with this! It has become just a routine thing with me. One other thing: I have been told that taking lysine is helpful in preventing outbreaks. I do that when I remember & I think it does help a bit, but no guarantees. Good luck!

clk062, does it still burn a little while you have an outbreak, or just before? I've had this for about 4 or 5 days.

It's really starting to look like herpes, or at least somewhat similar to the pictures I've seen. Can you have it and not have large blisters? Just red, just a little burning, and in a magnifying glass maybe some very, very small bumps? I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow but I'm freaking out even more. Not sure how I'm going to get through this.

Lnx, so sorry you are going through this and I dont' mean to scare you but some people don't get any blisters at all and some get small bumps, and others big sores. I guess at this point, hope for the best but prepare for the worst. When my doctor gave me the diagnosis, she said she tells at least 3 people a week that they have this, so you are definitely not alone. We are here to support you no matter what! I'm hoping it's just an allergic reaction to the condom, or something easy like that. I will say a prayer for you.

thank you ashley99, right now I need all the prayers I can get.

I have an appointment with my family doctor in the morning. I'm having severe anxiety attacks and I'm extremely depressed. I had sex with someone else, early August and used a condom then. Then I had sex with another last week. So I told the girl from early August, because If I have something I can't be sure it's from the latest one. It didn't go over so well and now I have her worried. I feel very ashamed of myself, not sure how I'm going to get through all this. I'm afraid I'm going to have a complete breakdown. Since I only started showing signs 2 days after this last encounter, isn't it more likely that I got this from her and didn't have it before now? I don't think I could be anymore stupid, I think everyone would be better off if I was dead.

There's such a thing as asymtomatic herpes...basically you have no signs or symptoms but you still carry it and the virus can "shed" and be passed on to others. The crazy thing with herpes is there's no real way to find out how long you've had it. Although there are the blood test and sometimes they can tell if the virus is new or older. Your best option is to get a culture (they swab the area) but also request the blood test so you know for sure what it is and what type....best wishes.