This is my first post and just recently I got into therapy because I am having major intimacy issues with my husband. I don't want to have sex or even be intimate on other levels. I have been seeing a therapist for about 2 months now. At first I thought to myself that I simply just fell out of love with my husband but I was told I may want to see someone about my past trauma. 15 years ago I was kidnapped and raped. I escaped after being held captive for about 12 hours. He is in jail for 35 years. About 2 years ago all this happened with the intimacy issues. I never got therapy for this trauma way back when or any other time until now. I simply put it in a box and locked it away. For all these years I told myself and others, "I am totally fine, I escaped, and I am not going to let some piece of **** like him ruin my life". I was very much a minimizer. So I am seeing my therapist and she is telling me what is happening IS related to the rape but I am having a hard time believing it. I am worried that I might really not love my husband and I am fine from what happened to me. Sooooo confused:(
oh bama, what a trauma you've been thru hun. may i suggest you also post on the sexual abuse link? the manager of that link is an incest survivor and teaches at a university regarding sexual trauma issues. wonderful man and he has lots of resources and could be very helpful to you hun. i'm so sorry this stuff is making a mess in your marraige.......i was not kidnapped but was raped at 16 and was sexually abused for years from about age 3 my story is different from yours but the result is the same. i've been married 19 years now and if i never have sex or intimacy again its ok with me. so you see hun we do have something in common. but do post under sexual abuse as charlie is very helpful.
Thank you so much, I will definitely post under the sexual abuse.
your welcome hun, you surely won't be sorry, charlie is real good. if he cannot help you himself (i'm betting he can, he's that good) he has resources a plenty. we'll be seeing you about the boards. i'm not as active as i'm dealing with mega overwhelming right now plus had mega surgery just fyi. i'll be up and running as i'm able. you go girl and work on you as i just so happen to know that you are very worthy of total wellness in your life.
I hate to hear about what happened to both of y'all.My heart goes out to both of ya'll. I have never been raped or kidnapped or anyting, but I hope y'all are doing better.
melissa hun, thank you so much dear. rape effects your everything and is a long road to come type of recovery. your very kind hun, thank you.
Your very welcome Kathy. I'm so sorry that it happened to you! Thanks for saying all the kind things you said to me.
thank you melissa, and your just very sweet and caring to ask about what we've been thru. do have a blessed day honey.
Thanks Kathy. Hope you have had a blessed day also!
hey melissa, not a good day for me as i had a doc appt and traveling is very painful still but i am able to kinda sort sit, have'nt been able to do that in almost a year so praise god for that. is all well in your world hun? we've been doing chattib about me, what about you dear?
I haven't been feeling good for the past few days, maybe I will get feeling better soon. Thanks for asking.
is there something going on honey that you want to tallk about. i wonder why you checked on folks in the rape group. i sure hope you get to feeling better honey.
It was on the home page, I'm doing ok. Thanks for caring though.
tried to find it hun and went back as far as the end of last year. thats ok just wanted to help if i could. and i do care hun. i'm about if you want/need to chat about anything.
Thanks Kathy, same to you!
melissa, we are sure to meet up again on the site, im sure. you take care honey...prayers your way
Thanks Kathy, You too.