See the True You sorry kinda long

Why does the mirror lie?
It seems to fog up my view.
I look at myself wanting to cry.
Days I look normal are few.
It takes away my happiness.
Every night and day.
I cannot melt away the stress.
I need to push it all away.
I try to keep going strong.
Not to let my guard down.
I don’t want this illness to be lifelong.
I cannot allow myself to frown.
I need to beat this once and for all,
if not for me now, then for them.
It’s hard to fight when I feel so small.
I want to feel anything but numb.
I wish my eyes would work right.
No one tells me why they’re wrong.
I hope the end of the tunnel will be bright.
I know, unfortunately, this journey is long.
With all this love and support,
I know I can fight through.
I wish my eyes would not distort,
so I wouldn’t feel guilt with every chew.
There are still days I am tired.
Ready to lay down and give in.
But they make me fight, keep me inspired.
I know I have to keep going within.
It’s harder when I am alone.
The voices are stronger then.
Though I know I am strong right to the bone,
so I stand back up and try again.
Today is hard, tomorrow harder.
I enjoy the few easy days I get.
Each day I fight, I get further,
I will everyday commit.
I don’t want to stay weak anymore,
or have my heart beat so hard.
Yet I know I am going through a war.
I refuse to let down my guard.
I won’t let these bones destroy me,
or allow the voice to take over.
I want it gone, not even there to a degree.
But to let go I know I’ll need some closure.
I’ll gladly put it in the ground,
for it to be at rest.
For it to never be able to make another sound,
would be for me to complete this endless test.
I am not going to let this beat me.
Someday I am going to be free.
I will someday become who I want to be.
And maybe I’ll finally be able to see.

Once again Allee, this is beautiful!
I'm so touched by your words. You speak for so many of us who have the same feelings. You should write a book of poems!
p.s. check your messages :-)

You are so sweet. A book? Now thats one comment I never thought I would have :)

holy crapola---allee that was amazing! really yes i agree with brita and say you should get published. im trying to get mine book of poems published( ok ive been putting it off--ha) but you should. id like to see that teacher who said you couldnt write! hahahaha..you know, jack london--the famous author--his teacher said his writing was dumb???
ha....

really --not only that but i adore your new outlook-allee keep it up--you can do it!

love
maureen

hi

Thank you Morgan :) I couldn't have even dreamed to start writing with out the help of all my friends on here!!! Thank you for all the support you guys!

allee

this is my first time commenting on this site but i have read all ur posts allee and im truly admired. u truly are an inspiration to me. and ur poetry is amazing. some of my teachers have told me that i can write but not poetry. teachers dont know anything. keep up the motivation