Seems to be a theme with exes as of late

Just as I have been catching up here after being away last week, I noticed a bit of a theme with exes coming back into play. As I am reading through posts, I was thinking that it's been a while since an ex has contacted me. Well, by doing this apparently I put something out to the Universe because one contacted me this evening via text. This is his second attempt to my last non-response. I did respond to this one because he actually wants to send me something from one of our trips, but I really did this in a very hesitant way. I suppose that I can control where it goes from here.

Somehow they seem to have some sort of radar; she's over me, time to come swooping back in to mess with her mind.

Just had to share.....

Yeah seriously, they must have a radar. Not only that, men seem to swoop in like crazy as soon as you're single. It kind of grosses me out. How did you feel when you got the text? How do you feel about the ex? I'm a big fan of responding because I know how I feel when my texts go unanswered.

Thanks for sharing, I'm curious what this is all about.
xo, July

Hi July! This is a guy who I dated over one year ago. I really fell head over heels for him and totally trusted him because I know him through a good friend. Things just phased out for us and I didn't hear from him for 7 months, then he came out of nowhere, we re-connected and things went at light-speed. We even spent a weekend away together. I really believed that it was all about timing and maybe this was our time. Following the weekend, he didn't contact me for one week at which time it was a simple text. Side note; this guy is in his late 40s, so I really thought that he was different and quite mature, but apparently age really is just a number. We texted back and forth for a few weeks until I grew tired of it. I was out of town quite a bit, but he never made an attempt to see me and that was hurtful. The text prior to this last one was a really long affectionate one and I ignored it completely. Then, I received the one last night asking me for my address so that he could send me something from our weekend away, I did respond to it. That's the story there. I feel like he sends these little texts to either keep me on the hook or to feel out how I am feeling....I can't make sense of it.

Several friends think that I've been way too nonchalant the entire time, seeming too casual and carefree. I personally think that's just excuses for his behavior. I am kind of over the whole thing, but of course any text he sends brings all emotions back to surface.

Hey Pup,
Yeah sounds all too familiar. I’ve been through that before. Quite frankly it’s annoying after a while. Late 40’s huh? Has he been married before? Did you guys ever discuss having a future or was it a casual thing? I never understand why guys do the things they do, but maybe he doesn’t want anything too serious so he spaces you out so that you guys don’t get too attached? But at the same time is honest about his feelings for you, which is why he does send affectionate texts occasionally so that he doesn’t lose you completely? I could be sounding like a complete moron right now. I always make excuses for men’s bad behavior. It should be black and white, like her go; for it. But it never really works out that way. Since you know how this guy operates, maybe you should really decide whether that’s something you’re willing to put up with. Can you reconnect and have smaller expectations? Or will you just bring back all the same emotions and be disappointed time and time again? I just feel like we shouldn’t have to settle, although we all make compromises. Fill me in.

xo, July

You are absolutely not a moron, you are brilliant! Thank you so much for your wonderfully insightful comment, you are so fantastic. I think that I've made my decision with him and I am really sticking to it. He has been married and I really think that he doesn't know what he wants at this stage. And it's clearly not me, at least not at this stage of where he is. I am just not willing to stick around to see if I can potentially be right at some stage. I am very black and white and really do have a hard time with the gray areas. My relationships in the past have all started out and been very black and white...guy meets girl, guy really likes girl, guy pursues girl, guy gets girl......

I am just not willing to settle or give way just to be in a relationship. I've always said that I would rather be single than with the wrong guy.

Thanks again so much for your support! Hope you're happy and smiling today.

I hear you puppy. Time is not something we should waste. Most my relationships have also been very black and white until recently. I suppose because I just got out of a really serious relationship, I kind of promised myself I’d be alone and make time for “me”. With that in mind, I met someone a few months back, had no intention of anything getting serious but here we are…similar to your situation. So I go back and forth with: well I shouldn’t be in anything serious right now versus, I’m no spring chicken, what are you doing??? It’s hard, you can’t help who you like and you can’t help when it happens. I’ve been trying to do the “right” thing, but what the hell does that even mean anymore?

I totally and completely understand how you are feeling July. I am continually trying to do the right thing, though you're right...what does that actually mean? When it comes to love, is there really a right or wrong way to go? Is it all really that black and white anymore? I also feel like I'm not quite the spring chicken anymore; I've spent the past several years slaving away for my businesses and time's just passing me by. So, when someone like this guy who originally knocked my socks off came back into my life, it really made me open my mind up more.

How are you feeling about this guy who you met a few months ago? Could there be something solid for a future together?