Hi everyone. I'm sorry to be whining here and I'd much rather be supportive but I have to come clean and say that there have been some very large, stressful, monumental things going on in my life and I think by today, my body is just giving up.
I keep trying self soothing things, like listening to music, breathing excerises, I even tried to take a nap which I never get a chance to do but nothing is working well enough for me to concentrate on anything really. I took the ativan and I'm feeling like it's easier to breath and trying to just let that work and trying to believe it will stop.
I was having to go over all my depostitions as there are more than 500 pages and I take the stand next Tuesday to testify to all the abuses. I"m told I may be on the stand for 2 or 3 days. It's hard when I think of him and his crazy batshit lying nasty family there glaring at me..... BUT I'm GOING to testify! No matter what they do or threaten, I'm telling everything!! But it really is hard to say the things that I have to say and it really sucks to think about it somedays. I just want it all to go away but that's not an option for now.
Now I'm crying... SHEESH!!! What a baby!! Someone call a WWAAMBULANCE!!!
Suzee, I disagree, your no be whiny at all! I have felt giving up too sweetie so I know how you feel but I believe in you, and I wont let you give up just like I am sure you wouldn't let me.
I am really glad you are trying different things, but I am sorry their not working. Did you try making any jewelry, or were you just not feeling up to it? That's good that Ativan is working for you.
Wow that is a lot of pages, and your going to take the stand next Tuesday and you might be on stand for 2 or 3 days. I know Suzee this is hard and stressful and I am so sorry that your going through all this stress, but know you have a cheerleader who believes in you and that is so proud of you and her name is name Princess, cheering you on along the way! :-)
Suzee, I wish I would of seen this sooner, I know you really can't but here is my shoulder that you can cry on! Suzee I disagree you are not a a baby. Crying doesn't make you a baby it's ok to cry it's natural to cry, here is my shoulder!
I am so glad your reaching out! I know it's hard stressful but I love your attitude and your persistence. I am not sure what all he did but all his abuse isn't ok. You are so strong and amazing person!
I am here for you through this and everything else!
Suzee, I love you so much! sending you lots and lots of big and warm hugs!
OH thank you Princess! You are such a wonderful person! I am doing ok tonight. I'm actually going to continue some jewelry that I've been thinking about so I am definately doing better tonight.
Yeah, my **** doesn't do anything without doing it BIG!! So yeah, there are many instances of abuse. I am sometimes floored that he doesn't just plead guilty but then that would be the sane thing for him to do!! It shouldn't shock me a bit that he's claiming nothing happened. Actually my attorneys say that the worst abusers do this every single time and that the judge is well aware of the patterns of these "asses". SOrry about the language!!!
I'm in quite a bit of pain this evening as having my jaw re-aligned because of the abuse I've endured, is a bit painful but I'm really looking forward to be able to smile and eat again, very glad! So, I will just work through the night on jewerly if the pain won't back off!!
It's all good!! I can do this!!! :)
Thank you sweet Princess!! I swear you are an angel sent from heaven!!!
Sorry I didn't see this sooner. You were not whining. Even the strongest person has things that are hard to handle. It is great that you are standing up to this **** (to avoid the proper nastier term) know that I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Let us know how it is going and we will be here to support you.
Tools, thank you so much. It truly does make it easier to get through each day, knowing that you all are in our corner. I will just do the best I can and try to just stay focused on my goal of healing me and my children while standing up against the man that terrorized us for years. Truly Tools, your support has been so helpful, so thank you so much!!!
Suzee you are so welcome! You are a wonderful person as well. That is so good your making some jewelry and that it makes you so happy.
He is such a ****! It is so good and I am so happy that your attorneys say that the worst abusers do this every single time and that the judge is well aware of the patterns of asses, no worries of the language. I am sorry a about your jaw.
I know you can do this!
It really touched me that you said I swear you are an angel sent from heaven!!!
Hi sweet Princess! I've been doing alot of reading on the boards tonight and am better able to concentrate and I think it has so much to do with being able to relate to others here and extend a hand to hold. It's definately fuel for the soul!!
I have to tell you that a few days ago, my grandson asked me, "grandma, where do angels come from?" It was funny because I got a big smile on my face because I was thinking in my mind that angels come from the supportgroups site!!! LOL I kissed him on the forehead and told him they come straight from heaven as they are one of God's best ideas. He then kissed me on the forehead and said, "well I think angels come from grandmas". ROFL He is absolutely priceless. He's just an amazing little boy. I am a very lucky lady!!! We have a date to go teradactyl (sp?) hunting... hehehe I might have told him I thought I saw one the other day.... :)
I meant what I said honey, you are an angel and you've been trying out your wings and are doing a great job Princess!!! Way to go little lady!!!
Does anyone know where to get teradactyl cage?????
When you are in the court room pick a few places you can look at to help you confidence. Maybe a friend's face, someone's brightly colored shirt, a pattern in the wall. Take something relaxing to listen to during breaks, music or guided imagery.
oh suzee your not whining at all. Get all those feelings out scream if you need to cry if you feel like the tears are being forced down. We understand the need to release emotion. what he did to you was wrong and your sitting up tall and facing him for your sake as well as your kids, your strong and your kids have a great mom to look up to. youll get that justice suzee. to be honest that 'thing' (refuse to call him a man) is lucky i wasent one of your kids. my mom was never really a mom but no matter how much she put me through with her drug issue and the abuse i still couldnt see her hurt or killed. she had a boyfriend and i was about 11 and on new years he came to the house with a gun and was going to kill her. she was already out of it but when i saw him and her fighting over that gun i pushed her away and fought him myself. it wasent the first time i had a gun pointed at my head and i could have been killed that night if he had managed to pull the trigger but im still not sure why i protect my mom , i love her yet hate her. well im not sure why i went off in that storie other then the fact that if i had known him he wouldnt be walking straight in the least. but stay strong suzee soon youll be the winner in the court system and be protecting your kids like i protected my mom.
That's good that you have been able to concentrate. Helping others is a fuel for the soul, I agree.
Thanks for sharing what your grandson ask you, that is funny of what he asked you, it made me laugh and smile. I agree that angels come from support groups. And that is priceless of what he said, how cute was that. How old is he if you don't mind me asking, you don't have to answer if your not comfortable.
Hehehe, you have fun on your teradactyl hunting. Hmmmm, I will if I can find any teradactyl cages online, hehehehe.