Long story short I was innotentive and my wife found another man. We were seperated but I was trying to figure things out and she was seperating to have an affair. We reconciled and are living together but I was not aware that the affair continued - I wasn't aware of the affair at all. We are best friends but she still is trying to reconnect with him and doesn't think we can ever have the spark and passion that they have. I can't really afford to divorce but it is so hard living with someone you love and can't have. She at least had love. I have had no love for almost a year now.
Are you here to defend your decision or change it???? You may have a chance to piece this back together & seek counseling together if shes willing & you guys are ready to find the answer as to how this marriage got off track to begin with. You would however have to put your foot down on this other so called relationship to begin the process of learning about one another. It takes two to tango. We're here for you, talk if & when you feel like it & remember things are not just black N white, theres more to people & relationships, no magic bullet/quick fix.
April
sounds like to me you are in love, and she has moved on. that hurts. i know. you gotta realize though that she is slowly going to go her own way. that's obvious. if you walk out right now, and show her you don't need her then maybe she will be forced to decide. if there is a spark left for you, then she will find it. you need to seek marital counseling. its free alot of places. either be together and be happy, or go your seperate ways. you can't keep beating a dead horse. it's dead. i wish you luck, but sometimes you gotta just move on and not look back.
You are hurting a lot, and I know your pain. You may feel you will do anything to get her back, and I hope for your sake that you can win back her heart and fix your marriage. I suggest that you go for couselling yourself if your wife isn't really "into" saving this relationship. You might find some things about yourself that can A: help you deal with this if the unthinkable should happen, or B: help yourself understand why your marriage broke down AND get the skills to help rebuild it. Getting some help may also show your wife just how much you are willing to do to save your marriage. I wish you the very best of luck.
How do you think your future with her will be? Do you think you can ever trust her again? Do you think you will always be suspicious of her activities?
You have a lot to mull over. You need to make some firm decisions about this. You need to help yourself first and the marriage is now secondary.
I think you should look at how you are going to move on.
However, if you believe you can save this marriage ... well, please take the advice that the others have posted.
Good Luck.