I am in a unique situation. One of my bosses is extremely thin and I suspect that she has a serious edo. She is very triggering to me and though I don't see her often, I have committee meetings with her once a month and I also see her in between meetings sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I like her as a person, but the eating disorder side of me is so triggered. I can't eat after seeing her.
My question is...do I make my feelings known to one other person on the committee? I am thinking of dropping it altogether so I am not triggered.
I am concerned that my eating disorder is being triggered by her illness. She is sooooooooooooo sick and I am trying really hard to recover and it's not easy being around people that are active in their symptoms.
Umm...I'm in a similar situation with a friend of mine. When I see pics of her, I become simultaneously concerned and jealous. On the one hand, it's hard to look at her because I don't want to see her suffering from something so gruesome. On the other hand it's hard to look at her because I want to LOOK LIKE HER!!!
Here's how I see it- this is one of those times to put yourself aside and fight for some one else. By focusing on their problem and realizing that this is about them, it might help you overcome the triggering piece of it for you (it's worked for me, anyway). I called her mother and told her I was really concerned and I asked her if she was aware. *she lives at college so I wasn't sure. Her mother told me she was happy that I had come to her, that she was completely unaware, and would make a trip to visit her soon. It was the best I could do. You just worry about you and do the best you can do for yourself. Then, ask yourself if this person's problem is really a problem or if it is a projection of your problem onto some one else. If it still seems like this person has a problem, well, she is your boss so I'm not really sure what you can do about that, but my point is that you have to remove yourself from that person's problem. Acknowledge that their problem is separate from yours, and it may help you lose the triggering piece of it. I hope that helps.
No, I would not make my feelings made known to "anyone" at work, (especially with her being your boss). Somebody may want to know why "you" are being bothered by it. That's an indication to them that "you" are the one who has a problem, and you don't want to expose yourself in a negative way at work.
You don't know if she has an eating disorder. There are many health conditions where a person is very very thin. There was a speaker at a support group once that people swore she was anorexic. She wasn't. She's never had any kind of ED. Ends up she had to have her stomach removed.
In order for her to "not" be such a trigger to you, I would start to see her as a person who may not even have an eating disorder. Maybe your "assumptions" that she does, is what's really triggering you.
You are not qualiified to diagnose anyone with having an ED or not. What you are basing your 'diagnosis' on is the fact that you think 'she looks sooooo sick'. You do not know anything about her situation. Perhaps she is naturally thin, maybe she suffers from another disease that casues her to lose weight there are a million and one reasons she may look the way she does.
It triggering you is another issue - however, it is not your place to mention anything relating to her health to her as she is not your friend, she is your boss. While you may have concern, you dont really know anything about her.
Thank you for all your comments. You're right...I can't diagnose another person and that was helpful advice.
I decided to talk to a trusted confidant about this issue. Many people where I work know about my eating disorder as it was quite apparent for a very long time. I shared some of my history with another boss of mine and she was very receptive. We have put plans in place so that I can continue to take care of myself. I feel good about my decision...empowered actually. I stood up for myself in a positive way.
Oh, I wanted to get in on this conversation, but it seems to have been taken care of! ♥ I agree so much with all the advice offered. I understand the triggering aspect, but that is truly about US and not about THEM... ♥ I'm glad you've taken the good advice offered. :)