Signs that he's just not that into you

Wow, some of these resonate a bit too much with me personally, but I'd love to know your thoughts on the following signs that a guy's just not that into you;

"Sometimes when we meet someone new and we fancy him, it is easy to ignore the warning signals and miss the fact that he might not be as keen as we are in return. We want the happy ending so much we often miss the alarm bells until it is too late. But if you keep your wits about you, with eyes firmly focused on his actions and the things he's NOT saying or doing, you should be able to spot when a guy is not really interested. In fact, there are 10 clear signs that he's not into you and they are listed from the most obvious to the least.

1. NO ACTIVE CONNECTION

When a guy has no interest there is hardly any reaction on his part: few phone calls, few dates, no fun time together and no desire to spend too much time with you, except just for sex. If you spend a lot of time wondering why he doesn't call or keep his promises, this is the biggest giveaway as to his real feelings. When a guy likes you, he will want to keep that connection going. If it is not there, neither are you.

2. NO RECIPROCITY

In this case, you will find that you are the one doing most things: making suggestions or asking for the dates and calls. You will be doing the pushing because he won't return your interest. He will be contented to wait for you to make the move first and will react or reciprocate only if it suits him.

3. HE PREFERS TO BE YOUR 'FRIEND'

He will stress this aspect soon after you meet. "Why can't we be friends?", he might ask. The minute that comes out it means he sees you more like a close buddy or relative than a potential lover or partner. Friendship is more detached than a relationship, easier to control and does not carry too much commitment for anything on either side. That would suit him nicely because he can then keep you at a controllable distance.

4. NO SEX, OR SEX ONLY

A relationship that isn't really going anywhere will have little intimacy, on one hand, or just sex and little else, on the other, especially when he's drunk or he has no one else to bed. In effect, you are being used when it is handy to do so, but you will be cast aside when someone better comes up and you would be expected to know that the relationship was only a sexual one! In fact, one sure way of knowing his real feelings is the way he behaves AFTER sex. If he always rushes off elsewhere, or promptly falls asleep, that is giving you a clear answer.

5. HE IS ALWAYS TOO BUSY

This is a dead giveaway because no one is ever too busy to see the person they care about. Once someone is too busy most of the time to see you or call you, he is giving a powerful message of not wishing to make the time to enjoy your company. What he is actually saying is that other things are far more important, and engaging, than trying to find time to interact with you.

6. NO PERSONAL INITIATIVE

A guy will be reluctant to use his initiative because that will only encourage you more when he is actually trying to keep his distance! Hence everything will be left up to you. Having little interest in pleasing you or your desires, he'll prefer to leave it to you to act. In that way, he won't feel any obligation to reciprocate your actions.

7. MISMATCH IN WORDS AND ACTIONS

When someone is really not into you they are likely to say one thing but do another. That is the time when the signal is clear because interested people will match their words with their actions because their words become their bond. They will be keen to fulfil their promises because they would want to please you. That's how they would get their satisfaction: through your obvious happiness.

8. FREQUENT ABSENCES

When a guy doesn't really want you he will vote with his feet. There will be frequent unexplained absences which he will resent discussing with you as he will believe he is still a free agent and not subject to your scrutiny. If he is spending more time away from you than he spends with you, the writing is already on the wall!

9. MAINLY GIRLFRIENDS

If a guy seems keen to cultivate mainly girls as his 'friends', he is either a player, he has something to prove or he feels more comfortable with girls. You are then likely to be just one of his crowd and nothing special. If he goes to lengths to mention all the other girls he knows, and stresses how he treats you all the same, that's the warning sign for you because he won't be treating you any different.

10. NO COMMITMENT

This is the litmus test but often you have to get to a certain stage to find this out as it does not reveal itself at the beginning, hence why it is last on the list. When we really like someone we are prepared to commit ourselves to that love, whether for a week, a month or a lifetime. When someone resists any form of commitment and seems keen to just let things 'flow' rather than directing them in any meaningful way, that is a sign that he is not into you, he does not value you as you might value him and does not want a long term relationship with you.

Oprah Winfrey once said, "If a guy wants you, nothing will keep him away, and if he doesn't want you, nothing will make him stay." It's excellent advice to be borne in mind with any new relationship. You will be able to spot all the signs that might be keeping him away at the outset rather than discovering them the hard, painful way further down the line."

Source: Helium, by Elaine Sihera

Absolutely hun agree with this ans I've learned my lesson, they aren't too complicated the only sad thing is and i know I could get the head taken off me for saying this...is that they happily sleep with women who they know genuinely care for them...which to be is just WRONG...

AND GUYS I'M NOT TARING YOU ALL WITH THE SAME BRUSH...OK:) There are some real real gents out there I've met them too.

Love to you
Moongal x

So so true Moongal! There are really good solid guys out there, but I've seen women being taken advantage of time and time again. Their feelings are there, but the guys are just walking all over them. I suppose at time we want to believe that they truly care for us, but the reality is that they're just not that into us. And, I know that men have to deal with women taking advantage of them all the same.

It's good to continually remind myself of these signs and keep my eyes wide open so that I don't set myself up for hurt.