i am a single mom of 3 boys ages 23,19,15... the 23 year old moved out and i never saw him or heard from him but i just hope he is ok... on the other hand my other 2 dont want nothing to do with him.. when the 2 oldest boys went to the same high school the oldest one couldnt stop and talk to his brother.
Hey shipwreck, I have 3 daughters ages 21, 19, 17. My 19 year moved out a few weeks ago. She is living with her cousin. She moved out on her own decision. I go days at the time and don't hear from her. I call her cell phone but she doesn't answer. I leave a message. I may or may not hear from her. She doesn't want to talk on her phone much in order to save minutes. Once in a while if I am lucky she will talk to me on Facebook. Sometimes she will keep her account on Facebook active by posting on it then sometimes its days before she updates it. She and I were really close before she moved out for the first time last year to live with her grandmother to go to college. She came back home to live for a few months this summer and our relationship was not the same. She is so distant now and not just from me but everyone in her family except for the cousin that she lives with. I really miss her but she is grown and can do as she pleases now. It hurts me sometimes that she is so distant when we were once so close. When she does contact me or come to visit, I try to make it pleasant. When she does happen to come to visit she is usually here for about 15 minutes tops then out the door she goes. She usually visit to ask for money.
My other two daughters and husband have talked to her but the words just seem to fall on deaf ears. I accept and appreciate whatever "time" I can have with her.
why do our kids treat us like this.. did we do something wrong? my 19 year old he has a job and help me pay for the bills.it hurts me when my oldest one shut me out.. it hutts even worse when the holidays come.
Shipwreck, what is your gut feeling as to why the oldest is having NO contact? Is it just because he too busy or something happened between all that would create the lack of harmony, brotherhood.
I have 2 boys 18 & 26, my 26yr. old lives 10 mins. from me & I rarely hear from him but am aware how busy he is. My 18yr. old just started community college & works parttime so the only time I see him is when hes hungry or wants to vent about his girlfriend, which is ok & a good thing.
I understand its painful when our kids grow-up & at the same time it IS very rewarding to know we've raised them well enough to be able to make it on their own.
April
since the fourth grade he was into the law and then he just started to push me and his brothers away when he was 16 he ran away from home by then we were told he was doing drugs
Then there ARE reasons. This wont be what you want to hear. Usually in these types of situations it stems from a persons past, the way one IS raised, genetic links if applicable, traumatic experiences. Sometimes it takes a life time, depending on the persons willingness to seek/find help/assistance & manage the problems & issues & LEARN how to deal w/what has happened in the past & the people that surround them & their willingness to learn & be supportive without denial or being critical. Its a long journey & no quick fixes or magic words. Something was created & it may take as long as it TOOK to get that way as it will to get the situation back on track. When hes ready to talk be ready to listen to him.
Take care friend,
April
thanks for the support...i hope he does come around before it is to late.. hope u have a good weekend.