Sister didnt invite me to her wedding!

A little family history...Because I did well in high school and went on to graduate college, Ive always been resented by my brother and sisters. They always accused me of "being better" than them. Through tje uears, they all bonded togetjer and would have get togethers which I was never invited to. My mom knew about all of this and she said it was because they were jealous. She never said anything to them about it since they are all grown. Although she didnt like theyre behavior, she would still attend all the functions and not say anything about my not being included. This has been this way for the last 10 years.

My oldest sister was never a part of the others. She always did her own thing. She was invited to a function once ( only because the other sister wanted her to style her hair for her) ans she noticed everyone was there except me. ( She left home when she was young so she had no idea about all the tensions). She asked the others where I was. They all looked at each other and said they didnt talk to me. She asked why and they just kinda looked around and could never give a reason. Well my oldest sister called me later and told me what happened. I gave her the history and she couldnt believe all the stupidity. She was the only one on my side. But since that event, the others have had zero contact with me. One sister would never even acknowledge gifts I would send to my two young nephews. I could only see the, when she dropped them off at my moms house when she couldnt take care of them. I had to wait until she left town to go to my moms house to spend time with them.

Another sister got married last November. I was invited by accident at the last minute. Her finace mentioned the wedding to me which I knew nothing about and he thought I was going. My sister suddenly says "Oh uh umm well didnt you get the email? I sent it! Um maybeni have the wrong email address, give it to me again and I will resend it." Yeah right. So the result of my going to the wedding? My brother was suppose to give my sister away, and when he found out I was going to be there, he didnt show up and cancelled the day of the wedding.. He claimed he had tickets to a college football game and couldnt get his money back. He conveniently no shows to any event which I am at. Totally a coward to face me. Havent seen him in over 12 years and this is his behavior to this day.

The kicker...Last year in March, my younger sister, the worst of them all, got engaged. She told everyone except me. I found out on Facebook by accident a week later when all her friends were congratulating her. Then in December, from my mom, I found out my sister had sent out Save the Dates back in july! I got nothing. My mom tried to play dumb amd say that my sister had gotten a lot of the announcements returned due to a problem with the post office and bad addresses. What a lie! Ive lived in the same house for 8 years with no address change.

Then the wedding was just this past Saturday. And of course all the family was there and I was excluded. I talked to my mom about this and of course she said nothing.

What bothers me is that no one says that I've done anything to them. No one will admit to just being resentful or feeling that if Im around, that will take attention away from them. So how do you explain the behavior?

I want someone to explain how people who you havent seen or talked to in over 15 years stil outcast you, give no reason and have bad attitudes when you do encounter them.

I want to scream!!!!

Hi 512life, I am really sorry for what you are going through with your siblings. This seems like such a sad and unnecessary rift. I understand that this is not your doing at all, but have you ever asked your mother to try to mediate and bring all of you together? Do you have any want or need to be close to them?

Hey thanks for the support! Yes ive asked my mom several times. Her response is tjat she cant tell them what to do since they are grown. She totally sticks her head in the sand and acts oblivious. She knows that if she ever stood up to them, they would disown her , get ,ad at her and treat her the way they do me. But worse, they would hate me even more because they already think she has given me special attention more than them over the years. So for my mom to say anything, would just fuel their hatred even more. There was a time a few years ago when my mom wouldnt ever mention my name since my briothers and sisters accused her of shpwing favoritism toward me. I would go over to my moms house, maybe take her to lunch and hang out. And when my sister happened to call and ask my mom what she was doing for the day. My mom would say things like " Oh I went to lunch" or " Im just watching tv." she would never say “we” or that I was there since that angered everyone that she would spend time with me.

I can see if I had hit somebody, stole their car, slept woth their boyfirned, told them I was better than them, etc…That would be a decent reason to hold a grudge or be mad. But nothing! Not one thing have they said Ive done. They just have agreed to be against me because they have felt like " second string" when I won an award or honor or something. My mom used to brag to her friends about some of the stuff I did i high school. I used to hate it since I didnt like that kind of attention. But either way, my brothers and sisters decided to hate me since it wasnt them in the limelight.

Its kimda weird -I dont feel a need to be close amd hang out daily and be buddies. But it does bother me that that animosity is looming. To know a major event like a wedding occurs and I live a few blocks fro. You and dont get an invite. That cuts. I want to cut them off as in ever acknowledge i have siblings, but that does nothing since they act like I dont

Now it makes so much more sense, it seems that your siblings resent you because your mother showed favoritism. I've seen how hard my mother has always worked on not showing favoritism, and it hasn't been easy. One little slip up and my sister would feel resentful. So, I can understand how difficult that can be. Though, I am so sorry that you are bearing the brunt of it all.

The only possible solution is to try to work on your relationships with them individually. And, maybe work on slowly but surely getting through to them on a one-on-one basis. Is this something that you can do?