I keep picking at my skin. I can't seem to stop, no matter how many times i promise myself i won't do it anymore. My parents and friends don't get it; they think it's just weird acne. But it is literally making me very stressed and depressed. Any tips or ideas, anyone?
Hi there- I've been struggling with the same problem for YEARS. I don't know the details of yours but mine started about 8 years ago and it has waxed and waned, however it more recently escalated to a very destructive level.
As for me, I started with my face, and as you've mentioned, I got sick and tired of trying to explain to my parents/friends/family. So I moved to my legs. Which I could keep covered and allowed a whole new level of destruction. I haven't beaten mine yet by any means but I do know how to help you with one thing.
You need to make your parents and important friends aware of what's going on. If they are dismissing it as acne, show them it's not. If they are critical, help explain your lack of control. It's really difficult to admit to fully, I know. For me it was a very vulnerable place to be, I'm not sure how you feel. But I was very ashamed. The wounds and scars make me feel ugly, and I think at the root it's a form of self-punishment for me.
Start with whoever it's most important to you to understand. Perhaps your parents. Tell them that Compulsive Skin Picking is a legitimate form of OCD, and that it's not in your control. For me, people constantly were nagging and yelling at me to stop, which only made it worse. If there is anything like that, tell them that it doesn't help, and in fact, makes it worse. Stress is what causes and is created by this disorder. Let them know until you've gotten help or more information, you just need support.
I also know that every therapist is going to tell you to try and occupy your hands in some other way. I'm still working on finding an activity that replaces it, but I'm having the most success currently with putting in as much effort treating and healing the scars and wounds I've created as I did making them.
Just know you're not crazy and it's not a freakish behavior. And don't force yourself to 'promise not to do it.' Something in your chemistry is causing you to have this reaction to stress, not your lack of will power. Skin picking is a disorder that requires help and support and usually therapy, don't bear the burden all alone.
Hope some of this helps...
thank you so much! i have thought for the past few years that i was the only one with this problem! i thought it was just a bad habit that i could stop whenever i wanted, but i have tried to stop so many times and it hasn’t worked. i’ve started knitting, though, so hopefully that will help.
I had this problem with skin picking OCD on my arms for many years. I was so embarrassed at my sisters wedding during the photos. I was a bridesmaid and was afraid that it would show in all of the pics. I walked around with my arms turned over so that hopefully nobody would notice. I tried to cover them with makeup but as anyone who has ever tried to do this can tell you ...it just made it worse.
What helped me was when a doctor gave me anxiety meds. I have many scars now and when people ask me what it is, I just say that they are scars from when I had the chicken pox. It is too embarrassing to tell the truth and see how they react to it.
I hope that you can get help like I did. I am here if you want to talk.
Take Care.
I have this problem too. I mostly pick at very small scabs that seem to appear from nowhere. This has been going on since I stopped smoking in 2001. I am try to pluck hairs that form on my chin and they turn to scabs. I seem to hate imperfections in my skin. The most damage is done to my face and back. They are not deep picks though and sometimes don't even bleed.
I am here for support so if you want to talk feel free.
so is it like a nervous habit for you? it seems to be a compulsion for me- sometimes i wonder if i actually have ocd.
i usually find the teeniest, least noticeable zits or just skin bumps and somehow convince myself that they are massive whiteheads and must be destroyed. i recently saw a picture of myself that had been digitally restored, and i actually looked good. it was amazing to see what i wouyld look like without all the weird bruises and scabs from picking.
sometimes, when i am trying so hard not to pick, i actually feel like i am going to vomit. does this ever happen to you?
I was told there is a deeper issue causing anxiety and causing me to pick but there are a lot of issues and they don't resolve by me thinking about them. Why would we feel these bumps or hairs are bad and have to be destroyed. I find that I am picking at details. There is a bigger problem I have and that is being about 20 lbs overweight. I am not obsessive about destroying that!!!
As for the details, I don’t know about you, but I’ve always overthought everything. Relationships, school, work. Everything. I think that ties into it for me.I overanalyze everything.
I bite my nails obsessively, pick at the cuticles and constantly at myself with tweezers to remove unsightly hairs. With that said; what is bothering me most lately is obsessing about diseases. I noticed some stretch marks on my inner thigh. My first thoughts went straight to STDs, but since I haven't been active in over a year it's almost impossible that it was ever missed in any of my checkups. I won't call my doctor because he'll just think I'm obsessing. Instead I jump on to google and start googling my first symptom. 30-60 minutes later I decided that I had a tumor in my pituitary gland that was secreting cortisol. Alas, I don't have a tumor; but it's hard to shake it. Oh how I love obsessions. You know to look on the bright side; I wouldn't know such a plethora of information had I not suffered from OCD.
Fedup,
The comment about your weight, without being an asshole; could mean that you are obsessive about your weight. Be constructive with the desire to weigh less.
Your comment sounded very similar to something I would have said. When I was in the Air Force I was 20 lbs overweight to their standards. Now I am 50 lbs overweight and all I do is beat myself up internally about it and my attempts to do anything about it are unhealthy or not very helpful.
In light of this message I have noticed one consistency with my life. I cannot be consistent for the life of me.
Thanks Marcus. I am going by the scale where you put your height and build in and then age and it will tell you what you should weigh. I used to do personal training and my BMI was in the poor range.
I have an inner voice that tells me you are not going to weigh more than … pounds. So if I start reaching that point I work harder, but I don’t workout as much as I should and I can see your point maybe if I found more ways to be healthy I would be happier with myself. But, I also beat myself up about it.
How have you tried to stop the picking? Why do you think the hairs are unslightly. You are a guy, don’t guys have more hair?
I tell you, I have read what some of you have written and it sounds exactly like what I was going through and I have such ugly scars now on my arms that it is embarrassing.
The anti-anxiety meds really worked for me. And when I run out of them, I have noticed, after the fact, that I have reverted back to this analizing my arms for imperfections and started scratching or picking.
Poppysmom-
I agree with you that anti-anxiety meds really do help, a LOT in my case. I couldn’t even attempt exposure therapy without them. However they are only an aid we can rely on for so long before we must learn to handle our compulsions without the help of medication. Which, to me, still sounds like a daunting, even impossible feat.
As for your scars, I’ve had some success with using some scar treatments and pigment lightening creams. I don’t obsess about this aspect, but I try and rub a cream (forget Mederma and it’s ilk- they don’t work), into each scar or wound. Vitamin E Oil, Kelacote (for bigger, thicker scars), and creams with Hydroquinone (this won’t reduce a scar but it will lighten the darkened spots left behind) have worked well for me. And I’ve had tremendous results with Scar Away patches.
These won’t get rid of scars completely, however I’ve found peace in this. What some may find unsightly or ugly, I’ve learned to look at as battle scars. Granted I don’t need to let them remain as thick/dark/large as they may be initially, but what remains (usually a much more pale, less noticeable white mark) is something I know I’m slowly conquering. And every battle will leave a scar.
I hope you can learn to love yours, too 
Abbey
As much as i hate to hear about someone picking at themselves- i feel some sense of relief because I have started picking just within the past from the wrath an ***load of negativity and I've felt so ashamed, insecure and mad at myself since it started. I have never been told I was affected by OCD but after reading all of this I'm kind of curious and confused. I suffer from sever anxiety and i often have have panic attacks. I've always been a picker when it comes to acne, a scab, those kinds of things but not just picking at nothing to create a scar. I feel like when I'm not at work, my phones not in my hand or I'm not occupied by the computer or something else, I pick. I do makeup for a living and I get to travel to some pretty neat places to do it. My job has always been my backbone and the only place where I felt sure of myself-- while this should excite me, mirrors are constantly around me in work settings and when I return after this unexpected time off, with anxiety kicking my *** as usual, I'm afraid the desire to pick will throw me for a loop.. or two.. or three. I don't know how to stop. I used to be extremely into fitness and got my body toned and sculpted then after getting staff and it leaving me with scars i already hide it enough.. now i cover everything. wtf is wrong with me
sjf.91-
This is rather fascinating. I’m also a makeup artist. I’ve done hair, straight makeup, and special effects for about 8 years now. It’s always confounded me that as someone who’s job involves (often) creating a flawless complexion, and the irritation I experience at actors & models who have clearly picked or exacerbated what would otherwise be a simple cover up job- make me a GIANT hypocrite.
Before putting concealer or base or any FX makeup on my subject, I do a quick analysis of their skin, and how best to create a ‘smooth, clean canvas’ if you will. I’m sure you have a similar process, though I don’t know exactly what kind of makeup you do. With a subject, I follow proper skincare/blemish treatments to the letter. Any blemishes with dry skin get a few gentle circular swipes with a damp q-tip to exfoliate, any red or inflamed areas get soothing & calming moisturizers, and should I absolutely HAVE to do an extraction, it is also done with the utmost care. Warm compress to open the pore, two q-tips or sponges on either side, and the gentlest squeeze. Done. The redness fades in minutes and you’d never know I’d done a thing.
However with myself, I follow not a single one of these rules. I use my sharp fingernails, FAR too much pressure, and extract looooong after whatever I think is in there has dissipated. A quick sidenote, it’s not that I or the others are necessarily picking at nothing to create scars. There is something there, it’s just something normal. A hair. A tiny bump from dry skin. A blackhead, a zit that’s hardly even formed yet. We sense it, see it, perceive it’s inevitable ugliness and try to pre-empt that by removing it. With brute force, blunt objects, and hours and hours of wasted time.
To be perfectly honest I’m sitting here with 2 tweezers, the kind that are sharp enough to easily cut or puncture skin. I’m trying to sit with them and not use them but it’s proving difficult. I want to take it and dig in to what I perceive as perhaps ingrown hair (granted, some of them are but so what), dig them out from under the skin and yank. Sorry for that overly detailed description, but that is where the compulsion becomes so dark for me, and I believe most of us.
I’m not sure about the rest of you guys who post on here, but I have withstood what would undoubtedly be excruciating, self-inflicted pain with little awareness when I pick. It’s the reason people are so shocked when they see the wounds and scars, they can’t understand how we manage to do that to ourselves. I have squeezed so hard with sharp fingernails they cut into the skin leaving tiny red cuts behind and a giant welt in the middle. I’ve applied so much pressure that the area AROUND where I pick has bruised. I’ve taken needle-point tweezers and calmly punctured the fragile skin on my upper cheek to lance a blemish that in reality, didn’t need anything but some antibiotic ointment.
Sure all of this hurt a bit, but what people don’t understand is that indulgence to the compulsion is like popping a Valium to stop the panic, and we’ve already entered a state where the pain becomes just a minor, unimportant detail. I’m trying to describe this in great detail, as I’m trying to be much more honest and upfront with myself and others about what I do to myself. I don’t just pick at zits and scabs a little, I wage war on them. I have pencil-eraser sized scars on my thighs from tiny tweezers, because I didn’t just dig in a little, I continued to poke and prod with the sharp metal, destroying the entire area surrounding my original target. Sometimes it begins to gush with blood, making it impossible to see what I’m doing, but that never stops me. I soak it up with a tissue and use the brief interval where I can see to take aim again.
It’s almost a cross between compulsive skin picking and self-mutilation. Though I never take tools or inflict wounds simply for the sake of creating a wound that I can watch heal. I don’t WANT the wounds, and I hate waiting for them to heal. In fact I rarely let them get very far before I start in on them again. I’m staring at my own pale legs and the light, faded scars from years ago, darker brown spots from months ago, and deeper red ones from just weeks, or even days ago. They’re almost everywhere.
Like you, sjf.91, no matter how hard I try, sometimes I simply just feel nothing but shame and disgust, with myself, my appearance, and with the process I’ve just described. It takes a LOT of patience, but eventually I remember that I’m not a freak, and despite the seemingly violent nature of my picking, I personally do not embody those characteristics. I may always have the scars, though they’ll fade (fairly well with the stuff I mentioned in my earlier post), but I won’t always have the compulsion. In the meantime while I do, and while you do, I focus hard on the fact that there are people just like me, and really, nothing is inherently wrong with us. Nothing that we could control anyway. And take comfort in the fact that we can control how we subsequently deal with and hopefully conquer this incredibly annoying, obnoxious, frustrating disorder.
My point, I suppose, is nothing is wrong with you. You’ll figure it out, too.
Thanks Aliente, for the info. about the anti scar meds. I have never tried any of them because some of my family members have tried in the past for "real" scars from normal accidents or surgery and told me that they didn't really work. But, it has been years since I thought about something like that. I'm sure alot of progress has been made with these products.
I was shocked to see what you wrote above about the detail of this thing. I have done the same thing to myself over and over. But, to see someone else write it in detail and so graphically it really sounds bad. But that is exactly what it is. I can dig into my skin and not even feel the pain. And when you wrote about how you go back through the blood and try again, I thought...oh my gosh, I'm really not alone. I do the same things..but I thought that I was crazy. Afterwards, I hate what I have done, but I feel relief because I have accomplished what I wanted to. I just don't like to look at the scars. Not that the scars bother me, but I am embarrassed about other people seeing them. And I agree about what you say about going back and starting again before it has healed. The scab bothers me and I start picking at that to get it off of my skin and the whole process starts again. And the bruises and cuts from my fingernails---oh this is all so real, but I never really thought about what I am doing in so much detail. It sounds awful when you describe it but it is exactly what I do and I don't feel that it is awful when I am doing it. I have never told anyone about what the scars are really from, except for a psychologist. It is embarrassing for me to admit to others that I actually do this to myself. My parents would never understand!!! It is so hard keeping it inside and trying to hide my arms by long sleeves all of the time, especially in the summer! This was hard for me to write. I am crying while typing, because it is so hard to admit. But at the same time it feels good to get it out.
aliente’s explanation was mind-opening, eh?
On the Hairs. You know how your doctors say that OCD is part hereditary and part environmental? Well here it goes. You inherit basic OCD. This means you inherit the genes that make you want to obsess and compulse. I think that what you obsess about and develop compulsions for is the environmental part. I didn't obsess about hair until one day someone made a comment about some unsightly nose hairs; or when I was in the Honor Guard and missed a few hairs shaving. Before these incidents I was fine about hair. Now I fulfill the OCD cycle about hair. If I see or have unsightly hairs I feel depressed because I failed; then I obsess about ensuring that I get them all. At this point it's all internal and I could continue to obsess about these things regardless of anyone’s input.
So I hope that made sense.
poppys mom- I totally relate to how you're feeling.. my picking is out of control so I've been wearing things that cover me up. Right now I'm not, so naturally I am picking. I hate it. I won't wear anything that shows my upper arms and legs and it pisses me off so bad that i have all of these nice clothes that I won't wear because I feel so ashamed when around other people and feel like they don't see me, only the marks all over me. I am going to see a doctor about it in hopes there's some miracle cream or serum that over time will maybe make them somehow a little less noticeable. I will let you know if i have any luck. You aren't alone.. Don't cry. No one can understand it, but you aren't the only one. It will get better.
sam
Thanks, Sam.
Gwen