Slots are ruining my life

I need help. I have to stop playing the slots. Gambling is not only ruining my finances, it is killing my self esteem. I am good person and shouldn't hate myself to the level that I do. But I do because I continue to sneak away to the local casino on the weekends and blow the little bit of money that I have. I am a single 48 year old woman and playing the slots has become my main source of entertainment. What started out as a few fun social visits several years ago with my family has turned us all into addicts. I am out of control and need to stop! My weekends are the times that I fight the craving to go. But then I end up giving in just as I did last night. I then slither home feeling like the biggest loser. I am hoping by joining this site it will help me get a grip.

Hi Md48, thank you so much for being here with us. Being here is a huge step in the right direction. It seems that the key is to find a replacement hobby and activity for you that will fulfill you. Is there something that you are interesting in taking up, a goal and dream that you've been hoping to fulfill? If you start working towards that, then it will hopefully replace the need to gamble. As well, are there any support groups in your area?

Hi puppydoglvr, thank you for welcoming me. I truely appreciate your feedback. Yes I do need to find a hobby and something else I enjoy besides playing the slots. And I could make some healthy choices and take some positive steps towards making some of my dreams come true. There are not many GA meetings around here. But we have a new Casino that opened in September so I think that will change soon. Trust me I am waiting. I started reading the book She Bets Her Life and am hoping that will help too. I will be fine now until next weekend. I am going to come up with a plan and try my hardest not to go. I just don't want to do it anymore!
Thank you again for your suppport. :-)

I am so glad that you are taking your own steps towards recovering from this and I know that you will make it through. Can you make plans for this weekend, so that you are too busy to even think of gambling? If so, make sure it's something that's fulfilling and makes you happy; taking up a new hobby, spending time with family and/or friends, etc.

I feel just like you...Reading about your pain makes me realize even more that I have to stop this endless chase for money in a machine...

choosingu, it is so hard to stay away. but it is a never ending cycle that we have to try to stop. i really don't think there would be any amount of money that would make us stop. i am an addict and i know that. i have gone 3 weekends now and have not gone. it is a battle. but i am happy come monday that i managed to do it. keep posting since i think that does help.