The past year of my life has been a nightmare! My husband of 12 years (together for 20) had an affair with a younger girl (not a woman my any means). I was so crushed and we decided to stay together and work things out. He had leased an apartment at that time just in case things didn't work out but was still staying at home. Two months after I found out about the affair I asked him to leave because he was upset (threw a tantrum) about not being allowed to go to a function without me. I asked him not to go because this girl would be there. We were still trying to work things out and saw each other often. We had alot of talks, etc. and he declaired that he wanted to come back and loved me with all his heart. Five months into this and I found out the affair was still going on (he just got better at hiding it). Well now, the ultimate..........this girl (*****) is five months pregnant!!! We never had children of our own by choice and this is killing me. I am currently filing for divorce to protect myself from all of this and am in therapy. Everyday is a struggle and my mind does not shut down on the thought of all the lies and the fact that what I thought we had didn't mean the same to him. And, he still claims to love me and want me. I'm hoping by posting on here I can release some of my confusion.
Hello Jaycee,
I understand your pain all to well I am sorry to say. We have been married for 13 and no children either. I wanted them, in fact I think I wanted to be a mom since I was very small. But I have two wonderful dogs and a nephew I adore. I try to take happiness in what I have. (It took my a while to get there)
My husband and I went to counseling together. My therapist told my husband that for now, not forever, but for now he should do what ever puts my mind at ease. Your husband should have granted your wishes. My guess is that girl is never going to meet his other needs, so you can take some peace in that.
Keep writing, it has really helped me. Because if you are like me you will go back to the past and replay every action and word you husband did and said.
The only other advice I have is to stay busy, and do things you love.
Tina
Thank you Tina,
Everyday is a struggle but I do have a great family and some great friends. I just hate depending on them to lift me up when I'm down which seems to be alot. And you are right.......he will never find anyone like me! He has also ruined his life along with mine. I know it will take some time to get myself together because 20 years with someone is a long time. Thanks again for taking the time to write. Good luck to you also!!!
Hi Jaycee,
Sounds like it is time to start making yourself happy. If you did stay once a month everything would come right back nice and fresh. It's called child support to another person. Not a loop that would be fun at all. And he's proven you can't trust him anymore anyway. Without trust you just have an existence nothing more.
I'm a guy but some of us have gone through the same things you did. I did, different situation but the same feelings.
I wish you the best in what you choose to do.
Thank you Michael, you are right! There would be too many reminders! Because we had no children of our own (a choice made by both of us) I could never see a child that has him in it along with the slut that helped to ruin our marriage.
I wish you the best also. Hopefully we again find happiness with someone deserving.