So I been with my boyfriend for 7 1/2 years now. I strongly

So I been with my boyfriend for 7 1/2 years now. I strongly believe hes addicted to Porn. Rewind back a bit, he's cheated on me for a couple of years and when I finally found out, and started digging I definitely found some dirt. He was meeting girls off of Craigslist, going to LOTS of strip clubs, sleeping with strippers, meeting woman on Tinder and the list goes on and on. Well, some short years have passed since finding out and I dont trust him anymore and the snooping had stopped on my end just to simply give my mental a rest. Fast forward to present time, I was searching in the mail pile for a document I had misplaced. I came across a Receipt of a bunch of toys he had ordered for himself. One of which was a Fleshlight and a sex machine he uses on himself. Right away my flags went up cause he ordered all this stuff to our house back in Sept and I didnt know. Also, where the hell is he hiding it? Anways, yesterday I became curious and decided to get on his computer, after a few attempts I got in. Logged on his search history and come to find out he watches LOTS of Porn. I always knew he loved Porn and thats fine but hes excessive with it. I work overnight and sleep during the day, he watches when Im sleeping. And especially when I go to work. Iv caught him watching Porn in my room while I was in the bathroom. When I came to my room I caught him masterbating and watching. Even when he goes to shower I can hear him masterbating. I dunno if Im just crazy and shouldn't be bothered by this. But the sneaking and lying about things is what gets me. I feel like I dont know this person at all. Iv confronted him before, which I hate because he gets embarrassed which I get. But he tells me its natural to watch Porn and masterbate. Trust me, I get that! But why is he so excessive with it. I cant even look at him the same anymore. One time I found out he was on Onlyfans and I was pissed, simply cause he was paying these woman to watch them. Ugh Im at a loss here. I truly hate this feeling. Any type of words from anyone would be greatly appreciated.

Protect yourself. Trust your own instincts. If this is not what you want in a relationship find better. He has proven he cannot be trusted.

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Thank you for that!! Hes so sneaky its unsettling..

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Hi PrettyInBlack28,
As a male i hear you, i can understand your pain, i did the same with my wife. Until i opened up my inner demons to her she actually understood that i was BROKEN, I am a man that isn't shy to say or speak about what i went through or what i did. Some of us never ask for what we have, i was abused and sexually abused by my aunt for a few years since age 12, it completely BROKE ME, it made me a BEASTLY person, i could never say NO to sex or anything in that line.
Im 44 now, 17 years married it took till year 10 to realize what i became and what i needed to do to change, even if it meant bearing my soul to lessen the pain i have been carrying with me....
It has consumed my every thought, day in and night, so i think being completely open with him about what you feeling might just do the trick.
Remember some of us cant be blamed for what we are, we cant be fixed but surely trying will make a difference.

It definitely sounds like an addiction. Plus he must know what he's doing is at least a little wrong or he wouldn't be trying to hide it. In simplest words you two should attend therapy together and he should seek help with a professional.