So I didn’t think my jealousy problem was so bad, until I

So I didn’t think my jealousy problem was so bad, until I caught my self asking my girlfriend of almost a year these questions about guys she dated. (One guy for 2 months, the other guy for 3 weeks) and it’s so minor but it still gets in my head the fact other guys were with her because she is very introvert so I always think these guys must’ve been something special to get in her life. I mean she assures me by saying I’m the best bf she has and even that she knows she wants to marry but sometimes I can’t help but feel like I’m no good. She’s never had sex before or anything but any time I ask people advice they say just get over it. It’s hard because I keep imagining her with guys any advice ?

1 Heart

On the one hand is it kind of normal to think about this stuff. But most people, we think about it and just shrug it off. It is normal to be sort of jealous of lovers past. But logically we know to dismiss these concerns as a fleeting thought because everyone has a past. Have you ever felt this way about anyone else or in another relationship? If so, then it could be you're insecure. The fact you say, "she wants to marry but sometimes I can’t help but feel like I’m no good," reveals there is insecurity about your worth, your value as a human being. We all have doubts about our value at points in our lives. But if this has been ongoing for you, then it is about you and what you place your value or worth as a human being on. Everyone thinks of these things in various ways. Some place their value or worth in their successes, job performance, or romantic relationships, the possessions they own, their family relationships or whatever. I personally place my worth of value on what God says it is. So God loves me so much He would sacrifice a great deal for me. It says in the Bible. So I feel things like material possessions, or job success or whatever don't really make a good choice to base my worth on. Because God created me, knows my purpose in life, I'd rather trust He knows more about it than I do. But even if you're atheist or whatever, you can still find more tangible ways to view your value as a human being than feeling you're no good. And if you feel you could improve yourself, make yourself a better person by growing, there are ways to go about that. Therapy, self help books, religion or spiritual growth, etc. It's good you came for support about this because that could be one way you'll grow through learning from others who may have a bit more life experience, not necessarily me, but anyone else who could give you their observations. But in my opinion, you're not "no good" because we all have unique gifts and talents to give to the world, help others, and be of value to the human race.

1 Heart

I also wanted to add, that if your girlfriend says you’re the best boyfriend she’s ever had and wants to marry you, then you ought to take her word for it unless she does something to tell you otherwise.